Ask Marwa: I have had it! Mama’s Boy

Date posted: June 23, 2009


Marwa … I have had it

I met a man who is kind and sweet but he is mama's boy. He is so attached to her. He calls her several times during our outings, he tells her where we are, what we are doing, what we are eating, who is with us, who will join us, and what we are talking about. Every time he calls her, he hands over the phone to me and insists that I talk to her. Last time we were out, after he told her that we were on our way to a boatman on the Nile to rent a "felucca", she told him that she did not feel good about the idea and that she feels that we will drown. He cancelled our plans. As simple as that! I really like him. He is everything I ever wanted in a man but his mother is unbelievable and their bond is scary. How can I have a relationship with him minus her?

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WOW! I have seen cases where the boy is attached to his mama but this one tops it all. Look at the bright side: she is not trying to sabotage your relationship – yet! I will not waste your time in psychological analysis and I will tell you flat out that you have one of two options: Take him and his mama or leave him and his mama! This is a bond that you can never break and the more you try to break it the more you will face resistance. It will get even worse if she dies. She will leave a void that no one will ever fill. Poor guy was never weaned! She stopped breastfeeding him but all the other things never stopped.

You are the best judge of that scenario: can you marry him and his mama knowing that this is his only disadvantage? Can you befriend her? Can you promise her to become the nurturing nanny that will take the best care of her baby boy? All she needs to see to accept you is a "nanny" not a "woman". For instance, if you kiss him in her presence, you kiss his forehead not his lips. I hope you got the picture

If you cannot be that person and if deep down you know that she will always get on your nerves, then walk away while you still can. I have seen men resenting their wives because of how "bad" they were to their mothers. Now the mother is gone and the only thing that was left behind is the memory of how the wife tried to separate the boy from his mama.

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