Ask Marwa: Emotional Roller Coaster

Date posted: June 23, 2009


Hi Marwa

I use to date this guy for 3 years. We had many problems and we used to fight a lot. Then one day he told me that he will break up with me and that he will date another girl. I didn't believe him and I thought he is doing this to hurt me. But it was true, he dated his best friend. During our relationship, he assured me that she was just a friend and that he would never consider dating her. Now he broke up with her and came back to me. He told me that the only reason he dated her was because our fights. I took him back but every time I call him and see "waiting" on the mobile, I think he is speaking with her. I can't stop it. I tried a lot. I decided not to call him to avoid seeing this "waiting". So I stopped dialing his number since 3 days and now he is the one who calls, is it alright what I am doing or this thing will push him away? I spoke with him and explained to him that I get jealous and he told me he will never get back to her and that she is the one who calls him every 3 days just asking about him.

Thank you

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I have no answers for you, unfortunately I only have questions. If you dated for three years and you used to fight a lot, what changed now that would stop the fighting? Did he change? Did you change? Or are you going to date for sometime then breakup again because nothing has changed? Why out of all the women on earth did he choose to date this girl? If he knows how much pain his relationship has caused you, why does he insist on causing you more pain by staying in touch with that girl? Why can't he end the friendship to spare you the pain? Why do you accept this friendship? Are you that scared of losing him? Would you rather lose your sanity and confidence than lose him? Why can't you demand that he ends this friendship? I think that he is hurting you because you are letting him hurt you. How do you envision your future with him? Do you really think you can stop calling him forever? Do you think that not seeing "waiting" will not make you think of her calling him? You are the one who has the answers … not me

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