Ask Marwa: I cannot forget him

Date posted: December 22, 2009


Hi Marwa

This is my story: I am 18 years old and I am in love! I know as a teen I might mix between love and like but at least I think am in love! I live in USA and I have been here since I was a little kid am from Sudan I went there for a few years! When I was in USA my parents let me have friends who are guys they were just friends but when I went to Sudan they said I can't talk to guys because it's wrong and Arab people don't do that but I didn't listen to them and I met this guy he was just my friend we would go out and chill and have fun we stayed friends for about a year and half then he said to me he likes me and wants me to be his girlfriend. I felt the same way after that by a few month he told me that he loves me and I said okay but after a month I told him that I loved him too so we stayed together for 2 years.

I really loved him but I had to move back to USA for college and after I moved we started having problems and we broke up! It's been a year and a few months since we broke up and I met a lot of guys and they all wanted a serious relationship with me. I always say yes but after a few days I find myself thinking about my X boyfriend and I end it. I am going to Sudan in a few months and am going to see him because my friends and his friends are the same! So if I see him should I tell him how I really feel or wait for him to tell me how he feels and does this sound like love to you?
S

Hey S
I am so sorry you are hurting.

Let's assume that he is still single, let's assume that he is still in love with you, and let's assume that he is willing to continue your relationship. You will go back to the US and you will break up again … if so, then you are just paving the way for more pain, right?

Now look at all the assumptions above and think of the side of the coin, what if he moved on? What if he has someone? What if he outgrew your love? Before you talk to him find out the answers.
I just want you to know that fighting for love is over rated; Hollywood effect/ Disney effect. Have you thought that for him it might have been just a crush … an experience … a phase (it's that age)?
Why you cannot forget him? Because you do not allow yourself to forget him … because you have cherished every memory of him that you have kept a fantasy alive in your heart … you gave him the power to take away your life … how many years are you willing to waste reviving the past? So what, you met a few guys who did not feel right … there will be more if you allow it!

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