When you are confused think of the basics – read the example
Date posted: May 2, 2010
I am one of your fans who really adores your work and writings. Your opinion on various relationship problems encourages me to write to you my own story, it's not really a problem yet.
I am 18 years old. I am the girl who really stands for her principles and cares how god evaluate her actions.This is my first year at college. I had no previous experience about love issues because i don't approve of having a bf while I was at school. I want to be loved and committed in a long lasting relationship that will end with something legal and approved from others. I am also very ambitious and I have my own goals that I want to achieve without letting anything to delay me.
In my university it's very rare to find someone respectful, grown-up and had principles that will stand for whatever happens. It began when I first talked to him and I found that he's really good. He was very caring and affectionate.
He has been through a lot and he said that he is so sensitive and know that no one is worth living for. Being 19 years old, knowing alot of girls as his gfs doesn't comfort me. However, I explained it that he is in a continous need of someone who cares for him. He told me: "ana lazm fi kol fatra fi 7ayati ykoon 3andi anteema." After a while, he kept on saying: " ana mfeesh bnt tefrad ra2yaha 3alaya, el bnt 3andi msh zy el wald, ew3i tkooni fakra nafsak momken t3'yreeni, el sagayr msh hbtlha now w mate3mleesh nfsk 5ayfa 3alaya…".
After all the signals of caring and that I mean the world to him, I am someone special to him…he told all his friends and relatives about me, he let me talk to his sister
All our friends in college noticed that there is something between us. When my friends ask me:" I said we are just friends as long as he doesn't say something else." But one day he told me he said to some of his friends when they asked him that I was his sister.
You know Marwa: My problem is that he did all of the things and showed me all of the signals that assured he's into me…I think I am not imaging because my friends and his friends see this also. He really wants me in his life but without adding another responsiblity on him. I think he believes that he has a lot of responsibilities and he wants only someone to help him go along, care for him without forcing himself to be committed in any relation. He's so stubborn that admitting he's into me terrifies him.
I'm now tired of acting like we never knew each other after being close friends so I decided to tell him that we'll talk at college as good friends and that he means alot to me…but to my principles i'll be still standing. I want him to know how it differs not be in his life but not as I was at first (caring and passionate)…Because to me: whether we'll be in a relationship or not..and that's is a normal result after him letting me feel him more than a brother…
Marwa: I am really confused and I don't know what is the best way to act. I want to be relieved in my life not to add complications to them and he's so complicated.
You need to go back to the basics … your principles … in personal development books, they call them True North … they are your compass .. they guide you whenever you are stuck
and your basics are very clear
1) I am the girl who really stands for her principles and cares how god evaluate her actions.
2) I don't approve of having a bf while I was at school.
3) I want to be loved and committed in a long lasting relationship that will end with something legal and approved from others.
4) I am also very ambitious and I have my own goals that I want to achieve without letting anything to delay me.
5) In my university it's very rare to find someone respectful, grown-up and had principles that will stand for whatever happens.
This is the answer to your problem
In life … every now and then we will be tested to prove if we really practice what we preach … if we really are who we thin we are … and I understand that you fell for your colleague … but if you review your principles, you will realize that he is not the one for you .. on all levels.