Ask Marwa: The Blonde Girl

Date posted: June 1, 2010


 

Dear Marwa,

I have a huge problem and I really need advice. For the past seven years, he was my colleague in the morning and my phone buddy at night. We only talked about work and I loved listening to him. I had a secret crush on him but I chose to be his friend because he told me over and over that he loves blonds and is only interested in blonds. One day he saw me with a "blond" friend of mine and he was dazzled. He approached her and they dated for a year, then she dumped him. His heart was broken and I was there for him as always.

Then he met another "blond" girl and they got engaged. I had to buy her gifts, hear him talk about her and about how much he loved her, listen to him complaining about her attitude and unfair treatment, and I was in pain for two years until she left him. Again he was depressed and again he had my shoulder to cry on. I decided to declare my love, so I sent him a message. He ignored it! I continued to be his true friend. A few months later I told him how I felt face to face and he told me that one never knows what will happen. He had affairs, I faced him, and he always said he made me no promises.

One day he asked me to marry him, I accepted. He gave me the same ring he gave his last fiancée, I accepted. He asked me to quit my job, I accepted. Now he ignores me, I accept. He tells me I have no confidence and I still love him. Shall I leave him? I feel that he does not love me!

S.T.

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Dear S.T.

This is a very sad story and the saddest part is not what he did to you, it is what you are doing to yourself. This is a man who falls in love with color schemes not with human beings. He confused you as a friend, used you as a fiancée, and will abuse you as a wife. He is a master at making you feel invisible. To him you have always been a big nothing. You accepted a used ring, an ice-cold heart, and a screwed up mind. He did not appreciate you as a friend and I do not see why he should appreciate you as a lover. When you were friends, you did all the listening, the supporting, the caring, and the understanding. He just sat there and enjoyed enslaving you. Now you are just his emotional punching bag.

Please leave!

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