Recorded Advice: Friends with Benefits

Date posted: April 24, 2009


Dear Marwa,

we were in the same class, and i was so much interested in him. anyways, through commen friends and Fb we talked and talked. we shared lots of things at a very short time, we became very very close. we talked about everything..literally everything. the problem was that..i was happy..i duno why..i know he doesnt want to get involved in anything and i told him im not interested in anyone too or even in a relationship, but there were those feelings that i didnt feel before .we both feel comfortable with each other. we were talking everyday and hanging out together and sharing things in uni. 
literally it was the best time in my life.btw he's half english, but he lived here since he was born. Honestly,we got physically involved and this point"which im not very pleased with", but it made us more interested in each other and much more close. im not that slutty kind of girl, but i felt things towards him and i won't say love because till now i really don't know what are those feelings. i felt like emotions were jumpin out of me although i didnt even though about him as a lover, i jst wanted us to be friends..even at the begining, my interest in him was to have a friend. and i told him that.
He was very clear with me in everything. he didnt play me.you can say that he satisfied me in everything. 
i was taking him as a close friend and i was happy with that coz i have trust issues as i don't trust people. but i was happy there's someone i share everything with and i can blindly trust. until he began to act weird at the uni, and i duno y..and began to ask myself..i didnt show or tell him anything i feel in order not to lose him"coz i really want him in my life even as a friend as only his presence cheers me up"
now,we rarely see each other or sit together or talk although we might talk onlline for hours and hours, but while attendin the same class, we don't even say hi, but we exchange looks. and literally my looks are always "why".
i really duno what's with him..we were quite good friends and i was happy with that..i didnt want more from him..i only wanted his presence and now even his presence isn't found.
when i remember everything happened between us concerning talkin, luaghin, studying or even hanging out, i cry..i wanna live those days again..I WAS REALLY HAPPY.
when i remember his sweet words which "he rarely says now", i cry.
our relation turned to be very weird one as if we're married secretly.i almost cried severally while seeing him with other girls although i know these are jst his friends.
why is he doin that??why tellin me v nice words at night and in the morning, there's no even a "Hi".
can i feel all these things towards him and he feels nothing after all that??!!
we were totally interested in each other in everything"as in character,or even as in outerlooks"
why is he doin this to me??he used to call me "closed book", as he was the clear one. now we shifted roles. and after 2 days he's tarvelling for a month and from the moment he told me..i duno what's wrong with me..im really said..although recently we don't talk much or sit together or anything, but i feel like i'll miss something.his presence really matters to that extent.
please talk to me.
best regards

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