The Narcissistic Jerk
Date posted: June 1, 2007
To: All the Narcissistic Jerks I know … and to those I do not know
From: Marwa Rakha – on behalf of all women
Subject: I do not love you … I do not even like you
Date: Now and forever
Dear Narcissistic Jerk
Please do not take this letter personally; I neither mean insult nor injury. I am writing to you on behalf of all the females that I know, and those that I do not know. Who? You know who; the doormats. Oh please, do not give me that face!
To be more specific, I am representing the women who stay in relationships with worthless men like your kind self; women who have no demands; who give without expectations; whose return on investment is your humble smirk. Yes, the ones who can do much better but because of some fatal flaw with their self perception, they settle for half the man they deserve. Oops! Did that hurt?
Hold your horses! I am not done yet! I have not even started! Let me remind you of the long list of your offences; falsifying a male ID on the grounds of facial hair and protrusions, theft of their hearts, deception to gain access to their lives, evading liability relating to any of your actions, trespassing to other feminine pastures, assault of their friends, battery of their ego, unlawful wounding of their self-esteem, wounding with intent of their pride, recklessness throughout the relationship, negligence of their needs, intimidation and threats, conspiracy against their peace of mind, and murder of their happily ever after dreams.
If I were to sentence you to prison for all your crimes, I would sentence you to an eternity of loneliness and suffering. I would have you stoned for every tear a woman shed for you. I would have you whipped for every dagger-of-a-word you threw in her heart. Like a plucked chicken, I would toss you in boiling water for every jealous moment you caused her. I would stick an iron rod in each ear that would not listen to her desperate pleas. Should be broken, those fingers that hurt when they promised to heal. Should have been cut …. I will let you figure that one out on your own!
She wanted you strong to protect her not to bully her; handsome to please her sight not to torture her wits; rebellious to support her causes not to offend her logic; imaginative to fly with you not to get caught in your entangled webs; sensitive to understand her not to confuse her; determined to lean on you not to suffer your well-launched attacks; eloquent to appeal to her mind not to flirt with her friends; charming to give her pride not shame.
How could you live with yourself? On a merry-go-round, you sent her heart racing standstill shadows and fighting lost battles. You exhausted her senses on your swing; one day, she touched the stars in the sky, and the next day she licked the dust off the ground. You played her like a ruthless circus trainer; you gave her sugar when she performed tricks for you, and I could hear her trumpet in agony when your sharp metal hook, with the spiked end, tore through her sensitive skin.
What excuses have you to offer? You told her you were confused and depressed. You said you were a mess from within. You pleaded innocent when you were guilty as charged! Did you not ask for her help? Was it not you who needed her support? Were you not the illegitimate child of receding passion? Have you not suffered the withdrawal symptoms of love? Had she not held your hand through your suffering? Was it not for her ears, who would have listened to you? Was it not for her wise words, who would have consoled you?
Now you sit back and judge her? Now you list her faults and flaws? Now you point a finger at her weakness? Today you turn your back to her? Today you no longer want to be with her? Today she repels you when only yesterday she was never close enough? High time you smashed her wise head with your stupid words? Tomorrow you will wake up and forget all about her, and about all your crimes against her? What a pig! What a drag! What a Narcissistic Jerk!