Ask Marwa: He is a DANCER!
Date posted: August 19, 2010
I need your advice on something that is driving me crazy. My fiancé is a wonderful man and we both live abroad. He is a dancer like the movie “Let’s Dance”. He dances several times per week and I just did not understand how to cope with such a “hobby”. He took me with him once and we danced together for two songs then we switched partners and I saw him dancing with other women – random girls and it turns out that this is the usual; you go there and dance with as many partners as u want on the same night and I didn’t like it. Feeling left out and all, I danced with another man but he encouraged it. He said it is just dancing and that he trusted me. My hope of him feeling jealousy was shattered.
He dreams of having his own dance school someday or become a part-time dance instructor in a reputable institution. He is taking this all too seriously and he is specialized in exotic – erotic – dances and I could not tell him straight in the face that I hate what he does. He promised to give up specific dances because they are too physical but I am still unhappy. I know he loves me but down the road I cannot picture him leaving his wife and kids to dance with random women every week. They are really not that random because they know each other by face and they have this dance ritual. But for me, it is like I am putting him in a sensual environment and all he needs is to get the courage and make out.
I am a horrible dancer and I do not know if I am just being a possessive bitch.
Dear Jealous Woman,
WOW!!! I rarely get an intriguing problem and I thought I have seen it all!
Listen … I am not you and people are different But If I were you I would find this dancing thing a great turn on! Yes! Look at it this way
1) You both trust one another … this is why he was not jealous
2) You two belong together, are together, and will be together
3) Nothing in the world would make a guy stay with you unless he really wants to be with you
4) Nothing would guarantee that if you were married to any man (who does not dance) that he would not make out with someone at the office or at the bar or at the clinic or anywhere.
If you do not trust him, then you need to work on this jealousy thing. Remember that he has dozens of options and he chose you, he will have a dozen more options and he will still choose you … come on … how flattering can a man get?