Date posted: March 30, 2007

My thoughts are killing me; my head has turned into a fishtank where questions relplaced the colorful fish. Why him? What do I like about him? What do I want from him and him from me? Is there an explanation for my insanity? Could there be a reason for this fatal attraction? My mind is so much against me, my heart is giving me a code red, and my body seems to have detached itself from an upcoming disaster.

Why did they call it "falling in love"? Falling is such an ominous word. Why did they not think of flying or roaming or anything that has a sense of freedom to it? Why did they link love to risk, darkness, and suffocation? Anyway, I woke up this morning with wide eyes staring at my cats lest they had answers.

I spoke to my friend about "him" and I shared my dreams and the nightmares. He said one sentence that made the most sense; "You are having a premature relationship." I have never heard that expression before and I was intrigued. My friend explained saying that "we are two people right for one another but the timing is not as right."

I myself am a premature infant; I was born about 3 months earlier than expected. I needed special nursing until my underdeveloped organs were able to function on their own.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz am I saying he is premature? am I premature? did we give birth to a premature relationship? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I cannot think .. I cannot trace the analogy between a premature infant and a premature relationship .. I have been attempting to finish this post for a couple of days now …

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