Dear MAN … I am not second best!
Date posted: April 16, 2009
Hidden in my closet I keep
a pair of boots with heels so steep.
How I dread their pointed end;
shudders up my spine they send.
Made of metal and nine inch long;
they come to use when I sing a sad song.
Silver ashes of resentment I swallowed.
In pain and agony I sat and wallowed.
Out of my eyes silver bullets of tears race
like lead balls they roll down my face.
My skin so sensitive felt their burns;
right and left, they took their turns.
I searched for you south, north, east and west;
only to be treated like second best.
Dear MAN … I am no man's second best!
So you thought I was desperate and defeated? No my dear man think again! You thought you were my last option? No my dear man for girls like me never run out of options! You thought I lost all my battles and came to you with my tail between my legs and my head between my hands to lick my wounds and die in peace? No my dear man this is so far from the truth. You looked at my scars and knew that I have been hurt a lot but you did not look into my eyes and could not see the determination that I have got. I am no prisoner of war. I am not a wounded kitten. I am no desperate girl. I have not surrendered my weapons.
My dear man, you are not my last resort; you are not second best. I chose you in confidence and utter strength thinking that you were a man worthy of my love. I am no proud woman for I am here and now acknowledging that I made an error of judgment; you are not the man for me for no man of mine treats me like his second best. I saw her reflection in your eyes and how you wished it was her instead of me. I felt your soul wander away from me hoping to run into hers in a realm of lost spirits and lonely hearts. You held my hand and thought of how warm her hands were. You assigned me a special ringtone but every time I called, you wished it was her. You looked at me a million times trying to find her familiar face. You listened to me for hours and hours trying to deafen your cries for her.
It was my choice to love you, but
now in your face my heart I will shut.
Slowly I reached out to the lonely pair,
and like a dagger it fell from the air.
Into my heart it landed.
I did it single handed.
I do not know now what hurts more;
Leaving you, being with you, or
The steep pain of the pointed heel
That in my heart I am doomed to feel.
For another man I shall search the east and the west
Until I find the man who knows that I am the best.