ASK MARWA: Career? Love?
Date posted: March 1, 2012
I am a 21 year- old ambitious girl, with dreams of becoming successful in my career. I am dating this amazing guy who is perfect for me, and I am aware that this is as good as it gets and that I will never find someone who will make me as happy as he does. But I am afraid I fear commitments. I don't know when it all started and how, but I guess it has something to do with people around me. I am surrounded with girls who were betrayed, hurt, divorced, no matter how long they stayed together or how deeply in love they were. They all say the same thing at the end – " He turned out to be someone else after marriage." I know I want to have kids someday and start a family with the person I love, but I am afraid that even if I am head over heels for him right now, it will all fade away later on. I don’t want to scare him away, so I try not to show it. But I am a very sensitive person and I am not so good at hiding how I feel. What do I do?
Dear ambitious girl!
Enjoy it while it lasts – this is my advice to you! There are no guarantees in life! You might change, he might change, or both of you might change. Change is a fact of life!
Think of your current relationship as a novel with several chapters; each chapter uncovers new events and with the twists of the plot the characters of the key players change and develop. It would be a very dull novel of the heroes do not interact with events or react to situations!
I also want to tell you that it is ok to get hurt – we grow through pain! Even if your heart gets broken, there will always be a lesson learnt. There will also be new things to look forward to in each phase of your life.
Try to be realistic about your expectations … of course he will be someone else after marriage – and the way he perceives you will also change after marriage. Sharing a home with another person is not easy and no matter how long you have dated, you will both have different challenges behind closed doors.