Ask Marwa: Divorce after 2 Months?
Date posted: May 7, 2012
This article has been published in Identity Magazine – May 2012
I have been married to this man for two months and I think about getting a divorce every single day! The moment I signed those marriage papers, I realized that I made a horrible mistake. I look at our wedding pictures and I see the obvious: he does not love me! He married me because he "decided" that I am good for him – in a medicinal kind of way! I love him but he is making it so hard for me to stay in love with him. My question is: Should I get a divorce?
You are not alone! Many men and women realize from the first day of their marital lives that they made a mistake and that they got married to the wrong person. Let's be realistic about your situation and then it is up to you to decide where you want to go from there.
From the way you are telling your story, I take it that you had your reasons too for getting married to him – other than just love. Realistically speaking, if you got a divorce now – two months into your marriage – you would go back to whatever it was that you escaped by getting into this marriage. Over and above, you take back with you the burden of a divorced woman and the stigma divorce still carries in our society.
My first advice to you would be to make sure you do not have kids before you sort out your issues. My second advice would be to work in two parallel lines:
Line 1: Consider being married to him as a chance to improve your life; get a job, make money, save money, and prepare for the life you would like to live after your divorce.
Line 2: Throw away all your expectations and vision of how married life should be; such thoughts are only hurting you more. You deserve to be loved, pampered, and cherished but nagging him about your rights will not make him give in to you!
Stop trying to fix him and stop trying to fix your relationship with him; he is who he is and things are the way they are. Put your effort and energy into something that makes you happy until by time you either gain the strength to become fully and truly independent or your marital conflicts find a way of eliminating themselves away.