Ask Marwa: I’m friends with my ex but I want more!
Date posted: January 22, 2016
I've been friends with my ex for 6 months now we text nearly everyday and see each other in old friend's gatherings, Im still in love with him and he's getting more and more attached to me but the relationship is not moving any forward. sometimes he tells me his jealous of other guys talking to me and asks if Im going to hurt him again like I did in the past but avoids talking about his feeling towards me right now as much as possible
I want to break down his walls and get him to trust me what should I do ?
Ps : he still knows Im in love with him
The Ex girlfriend
Dear Ex GF
There is only one way to do this! Only one way to either become The GF or the EX!
You need to talk!
I do not want you to be shy, confused, or incoherent! I want you to be sharp as a samurai on a silk scarf! Here is the strategy:
PLACE: A place where you can both feel comfortable, where you can both talk, where you can both get emotional, and where you will neither be disturbed nor distracted.
TIME: As soon as possible! I do not want you to day dream or guess or assume or do any more decoding!
THE TALK: Start the talk by a straight forward apology! Tell him that you are sorry that you hurt him! Tell him that you did not mean to make him feel jealous or insecure! Tell him that there were many misunderstandings in your relationship and that you are here today to set the records straight. Be sincere!
Paraphrase the mistakes; explain in your own words what you did that damaged this relationship and what you should have said and should have done to prevent the damage. Show him that you truly understand!
Lessons learnt; tell him what you have learned about yourself, about your needs, about your priorities, and about him as a man during your relationship, during the breakup, and after the breakup.
New beginnings; ask for another chance and for a clean slate. Promise him the things that you are willing to change about yourself and about your lifestyle to avoid reaching the same end again. Do not make promises that you cannot keep and always stay true to yourself and who you are.
HIS TURN: Now it will be his turn to talk and I do not know what he will have to say! Whatever he says, listen! If he asks questions, respond clearly and honestly. If he refuses to give your relationship another chance, do not hate him for it! Accept the fact that people change and that he is entitled to choose. Be graceful and leave him knowing that there are no grudges between the two of you and that karma will be kind to you!
As for the friendship between the two of you, you might want to decide if you can really be a sincere friend with no hidden agendas or not. You will be subjecting yourself to the pangs of jealousy, loneliness, regret, and a multitude of negative feelings just by being around him as the EX who still loves him.
My most sincere advice would be to meet him with a heart that is open for all possibilities and a soul that is seeking peace and accepting peace in whatever form it takes. The journey to finding Mr. Right is more interesting than finding Mr. Right himself.