{"id":11699,"date":"2018-12-01T01:51:24","date_gmt":"2018-11-30T23:51:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11699"},"modified":"2023-03-18T01:54:39","modified_gmt":"2023-03-17T23:54:39","slug":"ask-marwa-is-physical-attraction-and-admiration-a-must-in-a-relationship-can-it-be-a-deal-breaker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11699","title":{"rendered":"Ask Marwa: Is physical attraction and admiration a must in a relationship? Can it be a deal-breaker?"},"content":{"rendered":"<pre><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Dec-2018.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"11630\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?attachment_id=11630\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Dec-2018.jpg?fit=854%2C1193&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"854,1193\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Identity Magazine &amp;#8211; Marwa Rakha &amp;#8211; Dec 2018\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Dec-2018.jpg?fit=733%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-11630\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Dec-2018.jpg?resize=800%2C1118&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"1118\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Dec-2018.jpg?w=854&amp;ssl=1 854w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Dec-2018.jpg?resize=215%2C300&amp;ssl=1 215w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Dec-2018.jpg?resize=733%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 733w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Dec-2018.jpg?resize=768%2C1073&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a>\r\n\u201cHe is too short\u201d, \u201cShe is not curvy enough\u201d, \u201cI don\u2019t like curly hair\u201d, etc.\u00a0 All of us have heard some of our friends negatively comment on the looks of the people they date and maybe thought \u201cWow! That\u2019s superficial\u201d. But is it? We're visual creatures after all, we can't always find a flower beautiful just because it smells sweet. And at the end of the day, your partner will be the first person you see when you wake up and the last person you see before you go to sleep, so physical attraction and admiration is indeed important. The question is, to what extent? We reached out to our relationship expert, Marwa Rakha, to clear out this problem for us.\r\n\r\nIs physical attraction and admiration a must in a relationship? Can it be a deal-breaker?\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">The first stage of a relationship is indeed attraction; attraction in this sense is physical, metal, or even chemical. It is hormones in action. Some people call it \u201cclick\u201d, and others call it \u201cmagic\u201d. Without this \u201cmagnetism\u201d, the relationship will never launch.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Having said that, there are people who \u201cgrow on you\u201d. When you meet, you like their company and by time you get addicted to them. These people are like an interesting story that unfolds bit by bit, and you get hooked on the intricacies of that story.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">When does it stop being a matter of attraction and start being a matter of superficiality?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Most people know what attracts them to others and what repels them. Some people have lists of things they find repulsive and are very strict about their lists.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">\u201cI would never date a person who is overweight.\u201d, for example.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">If we pursue the same example, some people do not like having a partner who is overweight, but they can live with it. They find that person appealing on so many other levels and they do not focus on the weight issue.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Some people believe that \u201cweight\u201d is one the things that can be changed by diet or workout, or surgery. They can motivate their partner, or bluntly force them, to take serious steps towards the weight loss goal.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Superficiality is a totally different thing; a man expects his partner to wear make-up all the time, or to always have her hair done, or to dress-up daily.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">A superficial woman frowns upon her partner if he missed a shave or did not look like a movie star at all times.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Superficiality is not accepting the human aspects of your partner; we all pee, poop, burp, fart, sweat, and can look less than ideal on certain days.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">If my partner pointed out something he does not like about my looks or appearance, how should I take it? And when should I start to have concerns?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">A loving partner would always want you to look and feel your best. Many women and men find it normal to add their touches to a loved one\u2019s wardrobe. Some might choose their perfumes and colognes. There are many ways your boyfriend, or girlfriend, could interfere with your daily care routine.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">There are two major things to look out for:<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">How the comment is said and how you feel about it.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">If the comment sounded rude, aggressive, disapproving, insulting, humiliating, or offensive, you need to stop and reconsider this relationship.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">If the comment was said in a nice way but you are not willing to take that extra step to change something about your looks, you should be open about how you feel.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">For example, you have curly hair. Your partner makes fun of your head in public or privately. Think of ending this relationship.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Or, your partner asks you to permanently or daily straighten your hair. If you like your curls, or if you are unwilling to chemically treat your hair, or if you cannot go to the hairdresser daily, then you need to express how you feel clearly.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Should I point it out to my partner if there is something in their appearance that I don\u2019t like? Or should this be a sign that I don\u2019t love this person enough.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">If you do not like your partner\u2019s teeth, for example. What can they do about it? Your comment will only make them feel offended and, on a deeper level, insecure. If the teeth issue can be taken care of easily by a visit to the dentist, then maybe you can bring it up. The most important thing is to find a decent way to direct your partner\u2019s attention to this issue.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">If you have a bunch of things that you do not like about your partner \u2013 their hair, skin, body shape, and scent \u2013 then you need to keep that person as a friend instead of hurting their feelings brutally.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">On a final note, appearance is one of the very first things you get to know\/see about a person. If you have serious concerns about that person\u2019s appearance, do not get emotionally involved with them. If you do not find them attractive and appealing to you, do not attempt a relationship with them.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Generally, do not declare your love or attraction to a person before you have given yourself enough time to see them and talk to them several times. Go out for early breakfast, after work lunch, evening strolls, and late-night parties. Meet them early in the morning, after long workdays, on weekends, and on vacations. Take your time getting to know a person, you never know, they might simply grow on you.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">I would also advise you to have realistic expectations when it comes to appearances. At one point, you will see one another without make-up, without shaving, ruffled and muffled, sweaty and smelly, bloated and bed-ridden, pregnant and postpartum, etc.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Accepting that your partner\u2019s appearance will change over time is one of the ways to help you shift your focus on core issues like kindness, support, respect, trust, commitment, common interests, and generosity.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Whether you decide to stay or leave, do not leave scars behind you. Do not hurt that person because of what you think is unattractive. Attraction is relative and karma is a bitch.<\/span><\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Superficiality is not accepting the human aspects of your partner; we all pee, poop, burp, fart, sweat, and can look less than ideal on certain days.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_eb_attr":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,16],"tags":[1453,55],"class_list":["post-11699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-identity-magazine","tag-ask-marwa","tag-identity-magazine-2"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.5 (Yoast SEO v28.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Marwa Rakha | Ask Marwa: Is physical attraction and admiration a must in a relationship? 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\u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"April 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"For example, moving from attraction to intimacy will make a person feel obliged and stuck, and at the same time, uncertain and worried.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-April-2017.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-April-2017.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-April-2017.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-April-2017.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-April-2017.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":182,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=182","url_meta":{"origin":11699,"position":1},"title":"Ask Marwa: I am in love with a boy at school and I&#8217;m too shy to talk to him.","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"December 22, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"My young lady, please allow me to correct you; You are not \"in love with\" the boy; you are \"attracted to\" him. To say that you love him means that you have an open communication channel and that you actually got to know him up-close and personal. If you are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Romantic-Girl-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11651,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11651","url_meta":{"origin":11699,"position":2},"title":"Ask Marwa: Dear Unhappy in Love","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"January 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"These feelings will find their way into your relationship at any phase if the relationship stops growing. A relationship, like human beings, grows physically, emotionally, and spiritually.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":11714,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11714","url_meta":{"origin":11699,"position":3},"title":"Ask Marwa: Dating Uncertainties","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"August 1, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Is it considered tricking someone by not being sure in the beginning of the dating process with that person?","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":158,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=158","url_meta":{"origin":11699,"position":4},"title":"Ask Marwa: I love-hate her","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"May 15, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I am a 25 year old man and I need to ask you a question: Is it normal to love someone when you hate everything about that person? Am I normal? What do I do?","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Love-hate-300x214.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4914,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=4914","url_meta":{"origin":11699,"position":5},"title":"Ask Marwa: Why do we get attracted to the wrong people?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"August 27, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Now my question is: Why do we get attracted to the wrong persons ? Is it the challenge of dealing with a difficult personality ? Why do we overlook persons who want us and go for the not so easy relations ? 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