{"id":11703,"date":"2019-02-01T01:58:58","date_gmt":"2019-01-31T23:58:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11703"},"modified":"2023-03-18T02:03:52","modified_gmt":"2023-03-18T00:03:52","slug":"ask-marwa-the-truth-about-on-again-off-again-couples","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11703","title":{"rendered":"Ask Marwa: The Truth About On-Again, Off-Again Couples"},"content":{"rendered":"<pre><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Feb-2019.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"11632\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?attachment_id=11632\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Feb-2019.jpg?fit=1240%2C1754&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1240,1754\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Identity Magazine &amp;#8211; Marwa Rakha &amp;#8211; Feb 2019\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Feb-2019.jpg?fit=724%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-11632\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Feb-2019.jpg?resize=800%2C1132&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"1132\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Feb-2019.jpg?w=1240&amp;ssl=1 1240w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Feb-2019.jpg?resize=212%2C300&amp;ssl=1 212w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Feb-2019.jpg?resize=724%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 724w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Feb-2019.jpg?resize=768%2C1086&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Feb-2019.jpg?resize=1086%2C1536&amp;ssl=1 1086w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a>\r\nThe Truth About On-Again, Off-Again Couples\r\n\r\nWhen it comes to relationships there are three possible scenarios, the couple stays together (and hopefully have a happy life), or the couple breaks up and go separate way, or\u2026the couple breaks up\u2026and then makes-up...and then breaks up...Lather, rinse, repeat.\r\n\r\nRepeated ending and renewing of a relationship is often called relationship cycling, and this phenomenon has become quite common in modern relationships, so we couldn\u2019t help but wonder about the healthiness of such relationships, and if it\u2019s leading the couple anywhere. Here\u2019s a tough question for the one who always has our backs when it comes to relationship advice, Identity\u2019s Relationship Expert, Marwa Rakha.\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">I have often wondered about the best word to use when describing a thriving relationship: Happy? Stable? Steady? Peaceful? Mutual? Loving? Passionate?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">None of the above words were good enough; they certainly are good relationships, but I was looking for something else.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">SOLID! Solid is the word that I was looking for. A solid relationship means that the couple trust, respect, and believe in one another. It means that they are together, and together they will face boredom, seduction, pain, disagreements, sickness, and all sorts of adversities.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Solid relationships are secure; they are like having a home to go to at the end of the day. People who are in a solid relationship are blessed, and people who are in a seesaw-relationship are doomed.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">On-again off-again relationships are anything but solid. If you are planning to cruise through life in such a relationship, be prepared for facing rough winds and feisty currents alone.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Let\u2019s examine seesaw relationships in detail.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Why on?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Like any relationship, it is probably attraction \u2013 physical or mental. Fun is another possible reason. People who have fun together, laugh together, will probably hookup. Coincidence? Yes, some people find themselves in a relationship. One thing led to the other and they became together. Love? Why not? Love is a very valid reason to start a relationship.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Why off?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Again, like any relationship that does not feel right, things go downhill \u2013 and end. Anything could be the reason; misfit, loss of interest, cheating, uncertainty, personal differences, regular fights, violence, bad sex, etc.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">As you can see, seesaw relationships start and end like any other relationship. Nothing in the beginning or at the end can predict the on\/off pattern.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Why on-again?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Realizing that breaking up was a mistake? Missing being together? Giving the relationship a second chance? Needing one another? Sexual chemistry? Readiness to commit?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Why off-again?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Feeling, once again, that this is not the right relationship? Fights? Nothing has changed? Boredom? Flings?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Until this point, this is still not a seesaw relationship; this is a couple trying to make things work. Wise people go separate ways from here. They either breakup in a civil way or raise hell. The key word is that they do breakup. The love relationship ends. They could be friends afterwards or never speak to one another again. Still, the relationship is over.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Why on-again-again?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Boredom? Did not find anyone better? Going through a bad phase? Vulnerable? Desperate? Hoping things would be different this time? Addicted to sex?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Why off-again-again?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Found a better option? More boredom? More flings? More violence? Just got dumped for no reason?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Why on-again-again-again?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">More desperate? More vulnerable? More delusional?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Can you see the pattern now? Seesaw relationships are sick and make you sick. They are anything but solid!<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Why do people stay in seesaw relationships? Why are they common? Why do they accept them?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">The person who is in control of the on\/off switch is probably confused, lacks self-awareness, or is single and looking but cannot stand being single, so he\/she switches the seesaw on, and continues looking. He\/she could also be an abuser!<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">The person who gets on the seesaw over and over, is delusional, bored, lacks self-esteem, or is very vulnerable. No one in his\/her right mind would accept being toyed with like that.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">If there is no one in control of the on\/off switch, and the couple just gravitate towards one another over and over, then they are both no looking for a solid relationship, they are both enjoying the drama and thrill of breaking up and making up, and they are both keeping their options open.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Can seesaw relationships develop into anything else?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">There is no definite answer to that question. Maybe, in one of the \u201cONs\u201d, the couple would take a leap of faith and move in together or get engage\/married. Their ship might be wrecked immediately once responsibilities weigh on the couple, or they might cruise for a while before they realize that they made a mistake, or they might actually enjoy the cruise and visit many harbors together.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Most probably married seesaw couples shipwreck \u2013 with or without kids.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">If you are in a seesaw relationship, reading this, and wondering how to break the cycle, think of a lightbulb. Your soul, mental health, body, and entire being is like a lightbulb. Visualize that lightbulb glowing with light or dimmed in peace.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Now think of a reckless kid, or an irresponsible person, with his naughty finger on the switch. On\/off, on\/off, on\/off, boom! The lightbulb got burnt!<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">The kid would either find another lightbulb to watch burnout, or would learn his lesson and feel sorry, or would toy with the wrong switch and get electrified!<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Whatever happens to the kid, the lightbulb will never glow again! It could be used as a vase, or a plant pot, or thrown away \u2013 but it will never glow again because its essence has been burnt out.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">How sad is that?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">The good news is that you are not as helpless as a lightbulb! You can \u201cshoo\u201d the \u201ckid\u201d away or walk away from pain. You have many choices! If you realize that you are being manipulated, if you feel drained, or if you acknowledge that you deserve better \u2013 say \u201cno\u201d!<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">There is nothing worse in life that wasting your stock of love, tolerance, and faith in relationships on the wrong person. Whether you get married or not, a seesaw relationship will hinder your chances of ever finding a solid relationship. You might meet the right person after you have already burnt your fuse \u2013 you will have no light to give and no fuses to receive love and affection.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why do people stay in seesaw relationships? Why are they common? Why do they accept them?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_eb_attr":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,16],"tags":[1453,55],"class_list":["post-11703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-identity-magazine","tag-ask-marwa","tag-identity-magazine-2"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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and events. At this point in time, relationships get tested, whether they\u2019re strong enough and in enough synergy to get over this phase, or give up\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2018.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2018.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2018.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2018.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2018.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":11651,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11651","url_meta":{"origin":11703,"position":1},"title":"Ask Marwa: Dear Unhappy in Love","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"January 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"These feelings will find their way into your relationship at any phase if the relationship stops growing. A relationship, like human beings, grows physically, emotionally, and spiritually.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Jan-2017.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6706,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6706","url_meta":{"origin":11703,"position":2},"title":"Ask Marwa: I can&#8217;t stop thinking about my fling guy","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"June 2, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I felt alive! My fling asked me to be with him but I couldn\u2019t since I was still in love with my partner. My partner and I got back together and it seemed the right thing to do. However, now I can\u2019t stop thinking of my fling and how it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"10258249_725773560817970_8832508020916631452_o","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/10258249_725773560817970_8832508020916631452_o-212x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11669,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11669","url_meta":{"origin":11703,"position":3},"title":"Ask Marwa: Sudden Feelings for my EX","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"September 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Your little rebound is not a sign that you are in the wrong relationship; it is the sign that you just need to make your current relationship more exciting and alive. 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