{"id":11714,"date":"2019-08-01T02:23:05","date_gmt":"2019-08-01T00:23:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11714"},"modified":"2023-03-18T02:26:11","modified_gmt":"2023-03-18T00:26:11","slug":"ask-marwa-dating-uncertainties","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11714","title":{"rendered":"Ask Marwa: Dating Uncertainties"},"content":{"rendered":"<pre><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"11638\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?attachment_id=11638\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?fit=1448%2C2048&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1448,2048\" data-comments-opened=\"0\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Identity Magazine &amp;#8211; Marwa Rakha &amp;#8211; Aug 2019\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?fit=724%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-11638\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=800%2C1131&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"1131\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?w=1448&amp;ssl=1 1448w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=212%2C300&amp;ssl=1 212w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=724%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 724w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=768%2C1086&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Aug-2019.jpg?resize=1086%2C1536&amp;ssl=1 1086w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/a>\r\nThose early days of getting to know someone are tough: you have to figure out if you like them,\u00a0how much\u00a0you like them, and what you want with them \u2014 if anything. What should you do if you're dating but not sure if you\u2019re really into this person, yes, you like them and everything but that doesn\u2019t mean you sure you want a relationship with them. Should you be upfront and let them know you\u2019re not that into them and hurt their feelings, keep it to yourself and figure it out on your own, or walk away before you make them get attached to you. We reached out to our Relationship expert Marwa Rakha for her to help us figure out more secrets about relationships.\r\n\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Is it considered tricking someone by not being sure in the beginning of the dating process with that person?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">The worst thing about dating, or any relationship in general, is expectations. Expecting feeling in a certain way, hearing certain words, or simply being with someone is a certain way. It is totally normal that when you meet someone \u201cinteresting\u201d, there are sparks and attraction in the beginning.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">It is also normal that after the attraction phase fades away, there comes a time of uncertainty. It is natural to have doubts, to worry that you are with the wrong person for you, to wonder if things are going to quick or to slow, and to pull away \u2013 yes! It is natural for one, on both, to back off a bit.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">What would be \u201ctricking\u201d and totally unethical, is lying to someone about how you feel about them by saying things that you do not mean or feel, and by exaggerating showing feelings that you do not have. Why call every couple of hours if you do not feel like it? Why do you say, \u201cI miss you\u201d, if you don\u2019t? Why do you get intimate and say, \u201cI love you\u201d, when you don\u2019t?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Voicing that would make you honest or rude? Not voicing that would make you considerate or selfish?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Assuming that you took my advice, and never showed feelings that you do not have, the answer to that question would be simple. Here is a scenario to make it more tangible:<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">You just met someone, liked one another, began going out, and you are being true to yourself. You are not faking anything. Then that person expects more, asks for more, and eventually asks you why you are not giving more.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Being honest about how you feel, in that scenario, is not rude. You are a decent person who does not want to lead anyone on, and who is not being manipulative. That is why you need to clearly express how you feel when you are faced with an unsatisfied partner. If you have worries, doubts, or negative feelings, express them without being offensive. If you feel that it is too early to be exclusive and commit, say it. If you feel that you are pressured, be clear about it.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">What happens if you don\u2019t?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">You get in trouble! You get accused of playing people\u2019s feelings! You become a jerk! If you are a man, and you get really intimate with a woman who believes, based on your actions, that you are in a steady relationship, you get accused of being a jerk.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">If you are a woman, and you take advantage of a man\u2019s generosity, while he thinks that you are in love with him, you are at risk of being named \u201ca gold-digger\u201d.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Does love happen instantly or gradually over time?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">After the uncertainty phase ends, you both feel ready to be exclusive, and go steady. You get to talk about more intimate experiences, and share dreams and hopes. If that phase goes on well, you are ready to commit and get engaged. If that phase does not go well, the relationship ends.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">You only commit to a person after falling in love and getting to know that person well \u2013 as well as your value system allows you. These phases take time and there is no specific timeline to the phases. If you feel that a phase is dragging on, have a talk with your partner.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">When should you walk away, and when should you stay? \u00a0<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">Walk away if the relationship is distressed! If there are too many ups and downs, if there is a lingering sense of insecurity, if you feel bad but have no logical reason to justify your feelings, if you feel pressured to be someone you are not, if you feel used or abused in anyway, or if you know, deep down, that that person is not right for you.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"color: #008000;\">If the relationship is growing steadily and the two of you are putting in effort to get to know one another, then that is a relationship worth investing time and emotions in.<\/span><\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is it considered tricking someone by not being sure in the beginning of the dating process with that person?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_eb_attr":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,16],"tags":[1453,55],"class_list":["post-11714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-identity-magazine","tag-ask-marwa","tag-identity-magazine-2"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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