{"id":159,"date":"2009-04-22T03:46:58","date_gmt":"2009-04-22T00:46:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/?p=159"},"modified":"2010-07-17T02:20:59","modified_gmt":"2010-07-16T23:20:59","slug":"ask-marwa-i-want-to-hate-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=159","title":{"rendered":"Ask Marwa: I want to hate him"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Venom.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"3825\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?attachment_id=3825\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Venom.jpg?fit=809%2C1280&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"809,1280\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Venom\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Venom.jpg?fit=647%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-3825\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Venom-189x300.jpg?resize=189%2C300&#038;ssl=1\" title=\"Venom\" width=\"189\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Venom.jpg?resize=189%2C300&amp;ssl=1 189w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Venom.jpg?resize=647%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 647w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Venom.jpg?w=809&amp;ssl=1 809w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 189px) 100vw, 189px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">Dear Marwa<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">I don&#39;t know where to start it has been a very long time, I am a 21 year old medical student and I have been in love with a guy for 8 years. How do I describe it? &quot;he was to me something apart from common life something noble , pure ,the world seemed to me finer because he is in it and goodness more real because he lives&quot; . Here is the problem: I am a shy straight forward veiled girl who seems to intimidate guys. He was with me in high school and I admired him from a distance. We went to college and it turns out that we are colleagues. We exchanged a few words as he asked if we knew each other from high school. My reply was serious, brief, and to the point.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">On and off from there I started seeing him more often, where mostly he&#39;d greet me again and again from a distance, given my nature and our culture and traditions, he never tried anything more open despite that his close friends and mine started acting weird about it when they noticed !!!!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">Everything got weird, whenever he avoided me I avoided him until last he was closer than ever; always trying to look out for me from a distance and watch out for me that my best friend noticed it too. Then a girl came into the picture, caught his attention, and followed him everywhere. He always acted weird if he was talking to her and I showed up, he&#39;d stutter or even leave. Things evolved between the two of them and I was shattered; he knew I was hurting and from that day onwards he avoided me and would look to the ground whenever he passed me by and not look me in the eye. Everyone seems to think that I am better off and that I deserve better but I still can&#39;t forget him, I cant hate him and I allow myself only to remember his virtues and good doings, please tell me what to do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">N<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">______________________________________________<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">Hey N<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">Thank you so so much for trusting me with your problem &#8230; I am really honored.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">Here is my advice but please try to follow it: You need to put things into perspective &#8230; we feel overwhelmed when we blow things out of proportion &#8230; we make stories out of nothing and live<br \/>\n\temotions that belong elsewhere in our lives. Let me take your hand and drag you from cloud 9 to planet earth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">Love is a very very big word &#8230; what you felt for this guy is admiration &#8230; may be attraction &#8230; that developed into an obsession. To love someone you have to be very close &#8230; you talk &#8230; you open up &#8230; you share interests &#8230; you build dreams &#8230; you share a part of you &#8230; but this is<br \/>\n\tnot the case &#8230; you had a dream of your own &#8230; alone &#8230; in your head &#8230; and it kept growing bigger till it obscured your vision.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">Did it cross your mind that maybe his weird reactions and stuttering and looks at you were just a reaction to how you acted around him? There is nothing wrong with your serious look, your veil, your straight forward attitude, and your personality &#8230; there is something wrong with your approach to relationships &#8230; you made a mountain out of a mole and this is why you cannot let go.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size:12px;\">You cannot hate him because he did nothing &#8230; he did not promise you anything &#8230; he did not lead you on &#8230; he did not play you. You cannot move on because you spent 8 years of your life obsessing over him &#8230; if he is gone he will leave a huge gap behind. My advice would be to put things into perspective &#8230; see facts for what they are without the extra feelings. If you do that you will get over him.<br \/>\n\t<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Everything got weird, whenever he avoided me I avoided him until last he was closer than ever; always trying to look out for me from a distance and watch out for me that my best friend noticed it too. Then a girl came into the picture, caught his attention, and followed him everywhere. He always acted weird if he was talking to her and I showed up, he&#8217;d stutter or even leave. Things evolved between the two of them and I was shattered; he knew I was hurting and from that day onwards he avoided me and would look to the ground whenever he passed me by and not look me in the eye. Everyone seems to think that I am better off and that I deserve better but I still can&#8217;t forget him, I cant hate him and I allow myself only to remember his virtues and good doings, please tell me what to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_eb_attr":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,16],"tags":[1453,1628,55,1629,1627,1588,1626],"class_list":["post-159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-identity-magazine","tag-ask-marwa","tag-blowing-things-out-of-proportion","tag-identity-magazine-2","tag-love-delusions","tag-misleading-yourself","tag-revenge","tag-self-deception"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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To say that you love him means that you have an open communication channel and that you actually got to know him up-close and personal. If you are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Romantic-Girl-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6562,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6562","url_meta":{"origin":159,"position":1},"title":"Ask Marwa: Dating a DJ and jealous","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"July 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Dating a man with a passion for something is an amazing experience! Just think of the sparkle in his eyes and the vivacity in his voice when he talks about music! I know that you want to come first and I understand that you get jealous of his musical icons\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"Identity Magazine June","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Identity-Magazine-June-211x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4853,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=4853","url_meta":{"origin":159,"position":2},"title":"Ask Marwa: He is a DANCER!","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"August 19, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"If you do not trust him, then you need to work on this jealousy thing. Remember that he has dozens of options and he chose you, he will have a dozen more options and he will still choose you \u2026 come on \u2026 how flattering can a man get?","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/Dancer.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6482,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6482","url_meta":{"origin":159,"position":3},"title":"Ask Marwa: How can I make myself love him?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"October 9, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"It took me quite a while to decide which direction my reply to you will guide you; leaving him or getting married to him!","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5485,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=5485","url_meta":{"origin":159,"position":4},"title":"Ask Marwa: Do you think that men marry women just for the sex?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"December 8, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I cannot talk to my mom about this but do you think that men marry women just for the sex? It is just disgusting! My question to you Marwa is: when a woman chooses her lifetime partner in this Middle Eastern culture, how could she guarantee that this man she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Identity-November-208x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6396,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6396","url_meta":{"origin":159,"position":5},"title":"Ask Marwa: Divorce after 2 Months?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"May 7, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"You are not alone! Many men and women realize from the first day of their marital lives that they made a mistake and that they got married to the wrong person. Let's be realistic about your situation and then it is up to you to decide where you want to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/Identity-Magazine-300x296.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/peGN7P-2z","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=159"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3826,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159\/revisions\/3826"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}