{"id":46,"date":"2007-01-01T03:09:58","date_gmt":"2007-01-01T00:09:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/?p=46"},"modified":"2010-07-17T09:28:28","modified_gmt":"2010-07-17T06:28:28","slug":"to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-no-longer-the-question","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=46","title":{"rendered":"To Be or Not To Be; That is No Longer the Question"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/hamlet.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"47\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?attachment_id=47\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/hamlet.jpg?fit=500%2C486&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"500,486\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"hamlet\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/hamlet.jpg?fit=500%2C486&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-47\" title=\"hamlet\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/hamlet-300x291.jpg?resize=300%2C291&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"291\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/hamlet.jpg?resize=300%2C291&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/hamlet.jpg?w=500&amp;ssl=1 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>Hamlet!! I beg to differ! How limiting could that question be? How restraining could it ever get? Do we only have two possible answers to a question? Do we always have two things to choose from? Are our options so restricted? Are we so grounded? Have we gone color blind? When did our retinas stop seeing the colors of a rainbow? Why do we print our experiences in duotone? In a game of multiple choice questions, how many answers could be correct? What number of choices do we have? Who gives us the options? When do we have to submit our selections? Who decides if we passed or failed? I studied Shakespeare&#8217;s masterpiece, Hamlet, ages ago. I remember enjoying the depth, the soliloquies, and the suffering of a tragic hero until his cathartic downfall. Only today that Hamlet&#8217;s line began bothering me &#8211; this cannot be it! We might as well die and end our misery!<\/p>\n<p>I was brought up to be your typical &#8220;option-less&#8221; person but I learned how to find micro-options and loopholes of choices in the tightest of situations and the trickiest of questions. It was always hard for me to choose between two dishes, or two men, when one gave me heartburn and the other made my brain go numb. I went through a long journey of self discovery where I learned the virtue of the big picture, multi-dimensions, and different perspectives. I found my true calling and now there is no putting off to the fire within my soul. Being a Libra, I have always weighed my options on the fair scales of my inanimate birth sign. I still weigh the possibilities but they are much more than two. It shocks me now to meet people who are still trapped in the narrow tunnels of low self esteem and shackled to the ground by lead balls of fear. With there black blindfolds on, they face the brick walls of self inflicted imprisonment and turn their backs to all the opportunities in the world.<\/p>\n<p>I was training some remarkable ladies from one of the UN bodies in Egypt, one thing led to the other, and I told them that we &#8211; human beings &#8211; have unlimited options. Silence filled the meeting room, heads turned to face me, eyes widened, jaws dropped, and then they all said: &#8220;No, we don&#8217;t! We do not have &#8220;that many&#8221; choices. We have commitments, responsibilities, and burdens that leave us only a few options to choose from.&#8221; They told me that my freedom to choose is directly related to my being single. They insisted that they could not do as they pleased, regardless of its impact on those around them, and I insisted that the power to choose does not mean being reckless; I do not want them to runaway from their duties, I want them to embrace them. Choices liberate us and knowing that we will never run out of options and alternatives is a relief. I am grateful that I am not married to any of the men who came my way. I am delighted that I am not stuck with one of those careers that suck the living life out me. I can safely assume that I am a happy person; on a scale from one to ten, one being the lowest and ten being the highest, I would give myself a comfortable eight.<\/p>\n<p>We are meant to choose. We are created to investigate options and alternatives. We are not equipped to compromise for the long term. There are times when we consciously limit our options because we do not want to feel overwhelmed by the infinity of choices out there. It is difficult to choose; the bigger the selection, the more helpless we feel. How do we know we are making the right decision? How do we know that we are choosing what is good for us? How can we tell that we are not going to regret this? Other than using our limited common sense and intangible gut feeling, we will never know! But this should not limit us when looking into options. It is normal to make mistakes, just as much as it is normal to look into more and more choices for corrective actions. Nothing justifies waking up in the morning hating what you wake up to, who you wake up with, or where you get up to go. Nothing explains leading an unfulfilled life with an unfulfilling job and an unfulfilling partner. We only live once, so we had better make perfect use of our time on earth.<\/p>\n<p>I am not pleading for drastic measures like divorce, immigration, a great escape, or 180 degrees career changes; I am defending our human right to choose. Our lives do not have to come to a standstill if we are in the wrong job with the wrong boss or in the wrong house with the wrong partner. We do not have to settle! We do not need to settle! We should not settle! After being confined in a solitary cell, freeing your mind starts with knowing who you are. Find the answers in your heart: what do I like? What makes me happy? What makes my eyes light up with hope? What makes my cheeks glow with achievement? What makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning? What puts a smile on my face when someone, or something, rocks my boat? Be it a new language, a long forgotten hobby, a dream career, a challenging sport, or anything else that adds flavor to a tasteless dish &#8211; anything that adds color to our black and white life. No Hamlet, I am sorry; it does not have to be or not to be!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hamlet!! I beg to differ! How limiting could that question be? How restraining could it ever get? Do we only have two possible answers to a question? Do we always have two things to choose from? Are our options so restricted? Are we so grounded? Have we gone color blind? When did our retinas stop [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_eb_attr":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,14],"tags":[1717,1737,1749,1741,1736,1718,1735,1748],"class_list":["post-46","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-enigma-magazine","tag-abusive-relationships","tag-achievement","tag-character-is-fate","tag-enigma-magazine-2","tag-failure","tag-human-nature","tag-success","tag-the-human-mind"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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PREMARITAL SEX \u2013 FACT AND FICTION","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"October 28, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"So let me ask you a few questions and please do not depend on your \u201cknowledge\u201d to answer them. Please research the answers and compare the answers you get from reliable medical sources. Do not ask a friend who is married, a friend who is sexually active, a parent, or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/Sex-Education-in-Egypt-300x252.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":25,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=25","url_meta":{"origin":46,"position":1},"title":"Being Santa","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"December 1, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Year after year I wrote letters to Santa and year after year I failed to understand why his gifts always got stuck in the chimney or got lost in the mail. I assure you that all my letters were clearly written and all my demands we specified with utmost precision.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/santa-girl.269170501_large-272x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":28,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=28","url_meta":{"origin":46,"position":2},"title":"What Color is your Collar?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"November 1, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"When did I become so class conscious? How did I grow into that obnoxious girl that categorizes people based on where they live, what they wear, and how they talk? Their dialects, education, and possessions determine their location on my social stratification model. I am not materialistic by any means\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/haute-dog-collar-red-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6855,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6855","url_meta":{"origin":46,"position":3},"title":"Ask Marwa: Love Triangle?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"October 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"A monogamous relationship between a man and a woman is the most common form but it is not the only option. Some men are capable of being in love with more that woman and if he gets married to more than one, then this is called bigamy. There is also\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"10703992_795921153803210_4214994244259464667_n","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/10703992_795921153803210_4214994244259464667_n-212x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":43,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=43","url_meta":{"origin":46,"position":4},"title":"Character is Fate","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"February 1, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"After her father was shot dead, Clarice Starling went to live on a farm with a foster family, from which she ran away in horror when she witnessed horses and lambs being slaughtered. Their screams haunted her, and all her success, achievements, trophies, and honors were a relentless pursuit to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/05-Existing-Character-267x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":15,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=15","url_meta":{"origin":46,"position":5},"title":"SOS \u2026 The Relationships Guru needs Help!","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"January 1, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"On this page, now and today, I shamelessly take off my seven hats of experience and step out of my grand cloak of wisdom. I stand naked and shivering before you - my readers - seeking advice. This time my prince-charming is wearing a white coat and driving a Mercedes.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/peGN7P-K","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=46"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4046,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46\/revisions\/4046"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=46"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=46"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=46"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}