{"id":6524,"date":"2013-03-11T21:29:15","date_gmt":"2013-03-11T19:29:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6524"},"modified":"2013-03-11T21:29:15","modified_gmt":"2013-03-11T19:29:15","slug":"ask-marwa-my-husband-does-not-want-to-have-sex-after-i-gave-birth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6524","title":{"rendered":"Ask Marwa: My husband does not want to have sex after I gave birth"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Identity-March.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"6525\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?attachment_id=6525\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Identity-March.jpg?fit=677%2C960&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"677,960\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"Identity March\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Identity-March.jpg?fit=677%2C960&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Identity March\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-6525\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Identity-March.jpg?resize=211%2C300&#038;ssl=1\" width=\"211\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Identity-March.jpg?resize=211%2C300&amp;ssl=1 211w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Identity-March.jpg?w=677&amp;ssl=1 677w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 211px) 100vw, 211px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Published in Identity Magazine &#8211; March 2013<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\">Dear Marwa,&nbsp;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\">My Husband and I have been married for 3 years now; it has been 7 months since I gave birth to my little angel Nadine. I&#39;m so busy with Nadine all day, but when I can finally get some alone time with my husband he acts all weird. It&#39;s like he&#39;s trying to avoid me. It&#39;s been 7 months now with no physical interaction what so ever. I was once his super model and now it&#39;s like he&#39;s not attracted to me at all. I do admit that I gained some weight after giving birth but all women do. Why can&#39;t he understand that a woman&#39;s body changes dramatically after pregnancy? Every time I try to talk to him about it he changes the subject. What&#39;s going on with him? I mean I lost all the pregnancy weight and he&#39;s still not interested. I talked to my best friends about it and they said I should give it some time and maybe he&#39;s still recovering from what he saw in the delivery room. Could that be possible? Please help me out I don&#39;t know what to do anymore.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\">Alyah<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;\">Dear Alyah<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;\">Birth is a life changing experience for everyone who is involved in it; the more involved a person is the more drastic the changes become! Most of the time women complain that they have changed physically, psychologically and physiologically but the husband does not get it and that he wants things to go back to the way they were before. In your case, your husband was very involved and this has changed the way he perceives you.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;\">It is not about gaining weight or losing it; it is about who you have become to him! Let me give you a movie quote to help drive my point through! In the movie, Analyze This, Dr. Ben Sobol was asking Paul Vitti why he has affairs and cheats on his wife all the time. The doctor was wondering if Paul did not love his wife enough. Paul explained that his wife is his wife and the other women are the other women!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\n\t<span style=\"color:#FF0000;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;\"><em>Dr. Ben Sobel<\/em>: What happened with your wife last night?&nbsp;<br \/>\n\t<em>Boss Paul Vitti<\/em>: I wasn&#39;t with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.&nbsp;<br \/>\n\t<em>Dr. Ben Sobel<\/em>: Are you having marriage problems?&nbsp;<br \/>\n\t<em>Boss Paul Vitti<\/em>: No.&nbsp;<br \/>\n\t<em>Dr. Ben Sobel<\/em>: Then why do you have a girlfriend?&nbsp;<br \/>\n\t<em>Boss Paul Vitti<\/em>: What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?&nbsp;<br \/>\n\t<em>Dr. Ben Sobel<\/em>: No, I&#39;m not, I&#39;m just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?&nbsp;<br \/>\n\t<em>Boss Paul Vitti<\/em>: I do things with her I can&#39;t do with my wife.&nbsp;<br \/>\n\t<em>Dr. Ben Sobel<\/em>: Why can&#39;t you do them with your wife?&nbsp;<br \/>\n\t<em>Boss Paul Vitti<\/em>: Hey, that&#39;s the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?&nbsp;<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;\">Now back to you! Your husband has literally seen you transform from sexy woman\/wife to the mama of his baby! He looks at you and fails to see sex goddess! He looks at your breasts and sees milk &hellip; food for the baby! He looks at your waist and sees the miracle of conception and carrying a baby to term! He thinks of your private parts and sees a baby coming out! He sees the blood, the labor, the lights, the noises, the tearing, the cutting, and the pushing! He is traumatized!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;\">My advice to you: don&#39;t push him! He needs time to reconcile with the experience and to adjust his perception of who you are! Don&#39;t push him away; let him share those intimate joyous moments with you and Nadine. Bathe her together, dress her up together, feed her together, cuddle with her, let your eyes meet as you watch her doze off and fall asleep. Bit by bit the warmth and coziness of your newly found bond will kick in and you will both experience a very different type of sex &ndash; a sex based on bonding and comfort as opposed to lust and desire!<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Now back to you! Your husband has literally seen you transform from sexy woman\/wife to the mama of his baby! He looks at you and fails to see sex goddess! He looks at your breasts and sees milk \u2026 food for the baby! He looks at your waist and sees the miracle of conception and carrying a baby to term! He thinks of your private parts and sees a baby coming out! He sees the blood, the labor, the lights, the noises, the tearing, the cutting, and the pushing! He is traumatized!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_eb_attr":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,16],"tags":[1453],"class_list":["post-6524","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-identity-magazine","tag-ask-marwa"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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I am married to a great man; a perfect father and a responsible husband. Since the beginning of our marriage, I noticed that my husband has a hidden stack of DVDs in a secret drawer in the living room. It does not take a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Porn-addict-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6369,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6369","url_meta":{"origin":6524,"position":1},"title":"ASK MARWA: How do I stop myself from beating my newborn?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"March 14, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I received this email a few years back and I was horrified! What kind of mother would beat up her newborn like that! I replied to that woman telling her that she should be thankful and that she did not deserve to be a mother in the first place! I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/identity-magazine-211x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":173,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=173","url_meta":{"origin":6524,"position":2},"title":"Ask Marwa: My husband does not work","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"October 1, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I am a 24 year old married woman. I have been married since December 08 and I am currently 8 months pregnant. I have a beautiful home and a husband whom I love deeply. He is my age and he is madly in love with me. The problem is that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/unemployed.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5485,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=5485","url_meta":{"origin":6524,"position":3},"title":"Ask Marwa: Do you think that men marry women just for the sex?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"December 8, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I cannot talk to my mom about this but do you think that men marry women just for the sex? It is just disgusting! My question to you Marwa is: when a woman chooses her lifetime partner in this Middle Eastern culture, how could she guarantee that this man she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Identity-November-208x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5506,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=5506","url_meta":{"origin":6524,"position":4},"title":"Ask Marwa: How do I know that my Husband is Cheating on Me?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"December 24, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear Marwa How do I know if my husband is cheating on me? I do not want to overreact or accuse him when he is innocent. Can you give me guidelines or directions or clues or anything to find out if he is unfaithful? Wife","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Identity-Magazine-December-2010-212x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6148,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6148","url_meta":{"origin":6524,"position":5},"title":"Ask Marwa: Fling Lady","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"June 15, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"I do not see the problem! I read your email several times and I still failed to identify your problem. 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