{"id":6621,"date":"2014-04-29T19:54:44","date_gmt":"2014-04-29T17:54:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6621"},"modified":"2014-04-29T19:54:44","modified_gmt":"2014-04-29T17:54:44","slug":"ask-marwa-why-would-anyone-love-you-if-you-are-incapable-of-loving-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6621","title":{"rendered":"Ask Marwa:  Why would anyone love you if you are incapable of loving yourself?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p dir=\"LTR\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1795799_662000473861946_1020048711_o.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"6622\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?attachment_id=6622\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1795799_662000473861946_1020048711_o.jpg?fit=834%2C1193&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"834,1193\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"1795799_662000473861946_1020048711_o\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1795799_662000473861946_1020048711_o.jpg?fit=715%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"1795799_662000473861946_1020048711_o\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-6622\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1795799_662000473861946_1020048711_o.jpg?resize=209%2C300&#038;ssl=1\" width=\"209\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1795799_662000473861946_1020048711_o.jpg?resize=209%2C300&amp;ssl=1 209w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1795799_662000473861946_1020048711_o.jpg?resize=715%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 715w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1795799_662000473861946_1020048711_o.jpg?w=834&amp;ssl=1 834w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 209px) 100vw, 209px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">Published in Identity Magazine &#8211; February 2014<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">Dear Marwa,&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">I have dated many guys who seemed to absolutely adore me but I always had a feeling of dissatisfaction. Not because they weren&#39;t great but because I always wonder why do they love me? I never feel like I am worthy of their love and attention. So my question for you is, how can I love someone when I don&#39;t even feel I deserve their love?<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">Dear dissatisfied<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">Let me rephrase your question: Why would anyone love you if you are incapable of loving yourself? The way you feel about yourself is a form of low self esteem. People who have low self esteem either fail to attract the opposite sex, fail to maintain the attention and initial attraction of the opposite sex, or succeed in attracting one wrong partner after the other because deep down they do not feel worthy enough of love and happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">The bright side in your case is that you are aware of your low self esteem; you question why anyone would fall in love with you. Men are attracted to you because, to them, you seem like a nice person worthy of their time and effort. My worries are: some of those men can see through your insecurities and are going to take you for a quick ride, others are going to take you for granted and treat you inappropriately because you will allow it &ndash; because you feel that you do not deserve to be loved and respected &#8211; , and the really good ones will lose interest in you the moment they realize how you feel about yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">Your only way out of this trap is to heal yourself! Make peace with your faults and flaws! Love yourself! There are several ways to do that:<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">1)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Go to a group of sincere friends and colleagues who know you well enough and ask each one of them to tell you 3 good things about you. The top 5 things that are common between all those people are true and you should believe them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">2)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Write down 5 unique things that you could offer to your partner &ndash; things that you think make you special.<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">3)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Think of three tough situations that you have handled brilliantly and be proud of yourself! Relive those situations and offer yourself the gratitude you deserve.<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">4)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Think of 5 people you have supported through tough times and think of how lucky they are for having you in their lives.<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">5)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Write down 5 things that make you successful at work and feel proud of your achievements.<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">6)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Write down 10 things about yourself that you wish your daughter or your son would inherit from you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">Read those lists over and over until you believe that you deserve to be happy and that it is an honor for any man you desire to be your partner!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The way you feel about yourself is a form of low self esteem. People who have low self esteem either fail to attract the opposite sex, fail to maintain the attention and initial attraction of the opposite sex, or succeed in attracting one wrong partner after the other because deep down they do not feel worthy enough of love and happiness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_eb_attr":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,16],"tags":[1453,55],"class_list":["post-6621","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-identity-magazine","tag-ask-marwa","tag-identity-magazine-2"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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You will eventually lose your own self-confidence, and you might intentionally neglect yourself to avoid the guilt charges being thrown at you.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2017.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2017.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2017.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2017.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2017.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7491,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=7491","url_meta":{"origin":6621,"position":1},"title":"Ask Marwa: How do I end a Sexual Relationship at Work?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"November 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I feel cheap and it kills me inside that he preferred that older woman to me.\u00a0And I'm wondering why he did anything with me when he has another woman to have sex with!!! What should I do to get over it? Should I leave the workplace?","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"12140909_1021858757876114_5224365194668048568_o","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/12140909_1021858757876114_5224365194668048568_o-212x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3376,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=3376","url_meta":{"origin":6621,"position":2},"title":"How can i stop loving someone and start loving my self instead?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"July 1, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"How can i stop loving someone and start loving my self instead?","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":162,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=162","url_meta":{"origin":6621,"position":3},"title":"Ask Marwa: How to build your inner sense of security?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"May 15, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I need you to help me with an issue; it is not a man and women thing. My problem is that I never felt that I am attached to anything or anyone. I think that because we as a family changed our location many times and in many countries, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/saraswati-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5485,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=5485","url_meta":{"origin":6621,"position":4},"title":"Ask Marwa: Do you think that men marry women just for the sex?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"December 8, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I cannot talk to my mom about this but do you think that men marry women just for the sex? It is just disgusting! My question to you Marwa is: when a woman chooses her lifetime partner in this Middle Eastern culture, how could she guarantee that this man she\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Identity-November-208x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":11718,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=11718","url_meta":{"origin":6621,"position":5},"title":"Ask Marwa: Choosing the Wrong Guys Over and Over Again","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"October 1, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"It is not easy at all! It would take years of sessions and cognitive behavior therapy to heal our childhood gaping wounds, and to change our self-image and self-worth. This is the only way one would stop choosing the same type of hurtful relationships.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2019.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2019.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2019.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2019.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2019.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/Identity-Magazine-Marwa-Rakha-Oct-2019.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/peGN7P-1IN","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6621","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6621"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6621\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6623,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6621\/revisions\/6623"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6621"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6621"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6621"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}