{"id":6624,"date":"2014-04-29T19:58:19","date_gmt":"2014-04-29T17:58:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6624"},"modified":"2014-04-29T19:58:19","modified_gmt":"2014-04-29T17:58:19","slug":"ask-marwa-am-i-harming-my-daughter-by-being-too-close-to-her","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6624","title":{"rendered":"Ask Marwa: Am I harming my daughter by being too close to her?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p dir=\"LTR\"><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1553118_678263165569010_615888380_o.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"6625\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?attachment_id=6625\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1553118_678263165569010_615888380_o.jpg?fit=1441%2C2048&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1441,2048\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"1553118_678263165569010_615888380_o\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1553118_678263165569010_615888380_o.jpg?fit=720%2C1024&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"1553118_678263165569010_615888380_o\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-6625\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1553118_678263165569010_615888380_o.jpg?resize=211%2C300&#038;ssl=1\" width=\"211\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1553118_678263165569010_615888380_o.jpg?resize=211%2C300&amp;ssl=1 211w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1553118_678263165569010_615888380_o.jpg?resize=720%2C1024&amp;ssl=1 720w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/1553118_678263165569010_615888380_o.jpg?w=1441&amp;ssl=1 1441w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 211px) 100vw, 211px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">Published in Identity Magazine &#8211; March 2014<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">&quot;I am a mother of an only child. My girl is everything to me! I am not exactly a social butterfly but I enjoy doing everything with my baby girl. But now I fear that this might have affected her negatively. She is very shy and an introvert and doesn&#39;t have any friends at all. She just started college and I don&#39;t want her to miss out on great experiences! Is this my fault for being too close to her?&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">Dear Mother<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">First of all I would like to salute you on such a wonderful relationship that you have with your daughter! Such a strong bond between a mother and a daughter is rare to find this days and I would interpret this as the outcome of great work and dedication for many years! There is one thing &ndash; just one thing &ndash; that I found alarming with the way you phrased your message to me; you referred to your college daughter as your &quot;baby girl&quot;!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">I know that a mother will always think of her babies as &quot;her babies&quot; no matter how young or how old they are but to actually spell it out in an email is a bit over the board. I would not &quot;blame&quot; you for the f act that your daughter is shy and introverted; this is the character she was born with. She had so many chances to mingle and build various social relationships but her nature is not geared towards engagement and socializing.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">Here is how you could help her open up to the world a little bit:<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">1)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;Set an example!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">Let her watch you build and maintain friendships! Allow her to mingle with you and your friends in outings, shopping sprees, and causal trips.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">2)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Be a bridge!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">Become a bridge between her world with you and her world without you! Encourage her to invite one or two girls she likes to your house, to your outings, to your lunches, to your visits to the mall, and to some family events like birthdays and anniversaries.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">3)&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Get involved!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">Enroll &ndash; the two of you &ndash; in a community building activity! Choose some sort of charity work or public service activities and start together. Let he watch you go out of your comfort zone and try something totally new. Show her that it is fun and that people could be fun to work with.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\" style=\"margin-left:36pt;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p dir=\"LTR\"><span style=\"font-size:14px;\"><span style=\"color:#FF0000;\">In a few years she will join the work force and will have to interact with people on various levels of intimacy. Start now with my advice to avoid shocking her after graduation. Do not think of this as &quot;fixing&quot; your daughter or &quot;correcting&quot; your mistake; think of it as an extension to your role as a great mother and&nbsp; extra fun activities to enjoy with your daughter.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I know that a mother will always think of her babies as &#8220;her babies&#8221; no matter how young or how old they are but to actually spell it out in an email is a bit over the board. I would not &#8220;blame&#8221; you for the f act that your daughter is shy and introverted; this is the character she was born with. She had so many chances to mingle and build various social relationships but her nature is not geared towards engagement and socializing. Here is how you could help her open up to the world a little bit:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_eb_attr":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[1453,55],"class_list":["post-6624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","tag-ask-marwa","tag-identity-magazine-2"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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\u0645\u0627\u0631\u064a\u0627 \u0645\u0648\u0646\u062a\u064a\u0633\u0648\u0631\u064a\u201d \u0639\u0646 \u0627\u0644\u0637\u0641\u0644 \u0648\u0627\u0644\u0628\u064a\u0626\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u063a\u0646\u064a\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u062a\u064a \u064a\u062d\u062a\u0627\u062c\u0647\u0627 \u0644\u064a\u0646\u0645\u0648 \u0648\u064a\u0632\u062f\u0647\u0631. \u062a\u0644\u062a \u0627\u0644\u0642\u0631\u0627\u0621\u0629 \u0627\u0644\u062d\u0631\u0629 \u062f\u0631\u0627\u0633\u0629 \u0645\u062a\u0639\u0645\u0642\u0629 \u0644\u0644\u0641\u0644\u0633\u0641\u0629 \u0648\u0627\u0644\u0645\u0646\u0647\u062c \u0645\u0639 \u0645\u0631\u0643\u0632 \u201c\u0623\u0645\u0631\u064a\u0643\u0627 \u0627\u0644\u0634\u0645\u0627\u0644\u064a\u0629 \u0644\u0644\u0645\u0648\u0646\u062a\u064a\u0633\u0648\u0631\u064a\u201d\u060cNorth American Montessori 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What kind of mother would beat up her newborn like that! I replied to that woman telling her that she should be thankful and that she did not deserve to be a mother in the first place! I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/identity-magazine-211x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1880,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=1880","url_meta":{"origin":6624,"position":1},"title":"You are your mother&#8217;s mother","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"May 2, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"You are your mother's mother","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6131,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=6131","url_meta":{"origin":6624,"position":2},"title":"Ask Marwa: The Key Word is: REVOLUTION #Jan25","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"May 18, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"If your mother is like our former president Mubarak and she thinks that she is doing this for your best interest because you are totally incapable of taking charge of your own life, and if you are like the many generations who lived in his Egypt under his terms and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":147,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=147","url_meta":{"origin":6624,"position":3},"title":"Ask Marwa: My mom is driving me crazy","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"January 7, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I am sending you this email because I want you to discuss the parent-child relationship. I am sure that I am not the only one who is suffering because of a parent-related problem. I have a chronic problem with my mother. She is too dominating. She wants her orders obeyed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/care-evil-girl-spirit-210x300.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5244,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=5244","url_meta":{"origin":6624,"position":4},"title":"Daughter asks: Where is Pappy?","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"January 11, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Listen Y, I do not know the ideal scenario to deal with your daughter for I am very new to this motherhood thing myself. But if I were you, I would be very honest and would not lie to her. You say she is smart and special and I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Identity-January.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":150,"url":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?p=150","url_meta":{"origin":6624,"position":5},"title":"Ask Marwa: My mom is prettier than I am","author":"Marwa Rakha - \u0645\u0631\u0648\u0629 \u0631\u062e\u0627","date":"February 14, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I am beginning to feel jealous of her and I asked her not to pick me up from school again. I do not want to go into details about what happens on the beach, at weddings, or even while walking with her on the street. I love her but her\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Articles.\u0645\u0642\u0627\u0644\u0627\u062a","link":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/marwarakha.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/the-ugly-duckling-287x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/peGN7P-1IQ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6624","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6624"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6624\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6626,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6624\/revisions\/6626"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marwarakha.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}