Ask Marwa: Violent Man – Stay or Leave?

Date posted: August 19, 2010


 

Dear Marwa,

We've been married for a little more than five years and we have a four month old daughter. The problem is that he touches me during our disputes. There have always been such disputes, getting less in frequency and in magnitude, but I feel that last week's one just got me over the edge; he touched me on the elbow irritatingly and then when approaching him he kind of hit me on the forehead. I asked for divorce. My family is totally supporting my decision. This is definitely not a healthy environment to raise a child in. 

He says that he loves me but his actions do not say so. He broke in tears when we were leaving, but I think that this is just pathetic acting. Don't you? He says that he wants me and that he doesn't want to divorce. What do you think?

G

Hey G

This is a sad story!

I suggest you take a break from him. It would be a chance for you to re-evaluate your feelings and your decision.

Here are some questions for you.

Can you really raise a child on your own?

Can you love her the way she deserves to be loved?

Will you ever take your resentment out on her?

Will you remarry?

Do you want more kids?

 

Also re-evaluate your actions and be honest with yourself; how irritating were you? Were you hurtful? Could you have avoided the triggers?  

Then if he wants to come home and you decide to take him back, you both have to set rules and stick to them with regards to limits, respect, touching, and your daughter.

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