My husband says he loves me but he is cheating on me

Date posted: September 26, 2010


Dear Marwa,
 
One day I was downloading some sort of an application from the net and it was saved in the wrong folder. So I began searching for it on my computer till I find by conincidence my husbands old photos with some sort of girls as they were cuddling and staff like that.

I faced him and he informed me that was an old memories that I used to keep but nothing of them really matters and bla bla bla.

So he told me after that that he had erased all those photos as he is not interested in keeping them any more. And I trusted him with that as his face in such photos was much younger than now (but note that we were together at that time as well).
 
Anyway, after that with about 3 month I tried to search his mail and documents again to check whether he is ok now or not.

And the big surpris  is that I have found emails from a girl whom I knew before as he introduced her to me as a friend and she travelled abroad now.

He was shring with her his problems , laughs and plans and even informed her that he is not happy with me at all and his parents forced him to marry me.(which is not true as he is the one who chose me). The problem was that this time it was not an old story, it was happening while am out with friends on my day off to give him his space.

he even shared with her my favourite song. Also I found the old pix that he informed me that he had already erased.

So I considered it cheating while marraige and that was so hurting.
 
He didn't know what to say except that what he told you before about me being nagging and not taking good care of him, and that he is so sorry for that.

I asked him very calmly to end this issue by getting a divorce, he starts to cry and it was his first time in front of me. He kept saying that he regrets everything as he couldn't separate his past as being single from the present.

So I left my house and didn't tell anyone about that, he kept following me and asking me to forgive him as he cannot live without me.

I don't want to lie to you , I believed him especially when I found that I was pregnant at my first month.
 
He gets very excited about that and about startung over together, so I returned back home after only one week.

He began to be different as he suspended the internet for about 5 months and began to take a good care of me. He seemed to be wanting me sexually more than ever and we began to talk a little bit more than before.
 
It happens that he moved to work with me not only in the same company but in the same department as well but I began to realize his attitude with others as It was my first time to see him in his work place. So as you know how the internet is so important for work, so I asked him to get it back.
 
But the issue was that up till now, I find somethings that I don't like and I do find it by concidence as well such as:
He seemed to be so flirting with others or may be giving a lot of unnecessary compliments to our colleagues about her dress or her haircut and that was on the facebook too.

 
Also one time I came into the room and found a video chat was on and once he saw me , he fastly unplugged the net and said that this was an invitation that pop up on the window and he just wanted to see who is this person.
 
  
 
That's it and am still 7th month pregnant.
Our sex life is on and kinky staff is super 🙂
I know that is a along email but I am sorry that is my life now and I need to scream out of not controlling it as i feel I am drifting away.
 
P.S.
I love him alot and I need to teach him a hard lesson before the arrival of our baby in order to avoid any upcoming situations.
Please tell me what do you think, am I an idiot for giving all that chances, does he  really love me as he say, if not can he loves me one day and How?
Please tell me my pros and cons in order to get over all bad staff that I cannot see.
Please Marwa be sincere with me.
 
_________________________________

Hey you:)

 
I read your problem and I feel so sad for you
 
But things are not that black and white in real life
 
The fact that a man is in love with a woman does not mean that he will not flirt with others
 
The fact that a man is married to one woman does not mean that he will not have affairs
 
The fact that a man has one woman does not mean that he will not hunt others for fun or sport
 
I have no doubt that your husband loves you but he is cursed – like many other men
 
He needs to be surrounded by women all the time
He needs to feel admired and desired by women all the time
He needs to maintain the image of "the player" all the time
 
I am not saying that he is right!
I am just telling you what he is and how he will be!
 
Your husband will be like this forever … he will be the old man flirting with the nurses in hospitals because he is "el wad el fetek"
 
Now it is up to you to accept this or reject it
 
He will not change … and once again I repeat … he loves you but this is not enough for him. He does not mean to hurt you but this is how he is. You will leave the house a million times and he will come crying after you every time … but he will never change. Maybe he will "tone down" by age or time or maturity but he will always be a player.
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