Dear MAN – You are a clown

Date posted: January 3, 2009


Dear MAN

What do you see when you look at me? 
Do you see the man you will never be?

What do you hear when I talk to you? 
Do you hear the logic you never knew?

What do you feel when I hold your hand? 
Do you feel lost in treacherous sand?

What do you think of when I call?
Do I make you feel little and small?

What's to dread in an embrace?
Other than your own disgrace

Why can't you look into my eyes?
Have you been telling me lies?

You think over me you have power?
Let me show you how big boys cower

You are just a big shadow of a little man
Following my reflection as if you really can

My dear MAN,

There was a day when I loved you and there was a time when I needed you to love me back; alas, this feels like an era long bygone. Day after day you have proved to me that you are not the man who deserves a girl like me. I still remember the first time you made me cry for I wondered what was wrong with me that made you stop loving me. I remember the self-doubt and all the questioning when it was you all the time … it was never me. You have accused me of neglecting you when it was you who avoided me. You blamed me for your every failed step you took when I did nothing but support you. You told me that I could not handle a real man when you were feeling jealous of me.

Now I see you for who you really are … I am awake. Today I understand what exhausted my brains yesterday. From the man of my life I have demoted you to a clown; I love watching you bend over backwards to make me feel like the nobody that you are and I am entertained by the fire you blow when envy is eating at your heart. I know exactly how to make you lose what's left of your mind; I will just sit in a corner and watch you pretend to be smart. I will look you in the eye and let you see your tiny reflection. I will smile when you thought I would cry. I will not let you hurt me for you have become my favorite clown.

My dear MAN

In a circus of lovers you are my favorite clown 
Make a funny face or I shall show you a frown

Play with fire or walk a rope
Try harder or you'll have no hope

Come here 
Vanish and reappear

Tell me a joke or a silly anecdote of yours
Let's play revolving doors

What do you see when you look at me? 
Do you see the man you will never be?

Yours truly,
Me

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