Dear Former President Mubarak, Sir!
Date posted: May 7, 2012
Published in Identity Magazine – May 2012
Dear Former President Mubarak, Sir!
Happy birthday! It's the 4th of May again and I am positive you will have a blast – figuratively speaking, sir!
I have so many memories of your kind self but the one that stands out the most is an iconic frame amidst one of your last speeches when you stood tall, wiggled your index finger, and said "It's either me or chaos!"
Your prophecy came true, sir!
You couldn't have been more accurate, Sir!
Between the fear and panic accompanying the Islamist surge, on the one hand, and the fear and the panic accompanying the military and "felool" rule, on the other hand – between those two political and social scarecrows chaos found a home, sir!
Can you imagine that Egypt now has a parliament of Islamists? They said they are aiming at 35% but they say that they are what Egyptians truly want and who Egyptians willingly voted for! Can you imagine that Egypt's revolutionary parliament's main concerns are lowering the age of marriage to 14, censoring pornographic content on the net, changing custody laws in favor of males, allowing and supporting female circumcision, allowing and supporting child abuse in the name of Islam, allowing and supporting marital rape in the name of sharee'a, and allowing and supporting sexual harassment of women? It seems to me that our Islamist parliament hates women and is only concerned with sex and sexuality, sir!
Can you imagine that Egypt has/had four Islamist presidential candidates? The Muslim Brotherhood clearly said that they have no interest in running for presidency – they threw Khairat El Shater as their official candidate and when the court refused his nomination, they immediately threw in the head of the Freedom and Justice Party, Mohamed Morsy! They lied, sir! They keep lying!
The third Islamist candidate is Hazem Abu Ismail! He is a Salafi lawyer sheikh type of guy! His posters and flyers were on every vehicle in Egypt! With a sudden twist in events, he was also ruled out as a presidential candidate! His mother had an American passport – or something of the sort – and this is a clear violation of the constitutional amendments! It was quite funny how Abu Ismail and his followers insisted that the deceased mother was not American while all paperwork from the US or Egyptian authorities proved that she indeed had a dual nationality! The reverend Sheikh lied! His reverend followers support his lies! Weird, huh?
The fourth Islamist candidate is Dr. Abdel Moneim Abul Fotouh! This one is an Islamist in denial – my favorite type! He spent most of his adult life as an active member of the Muslim Brotherhood and only last year did he leave the fraternity over some high school fight between the big boys. So now he is not officially "one of them" but you and I know very well that an Islamist is not a title on a man's business card, right? Many people say that the good doctor is fair and will treat minorities well! Am I the only one who is insulted by this thought? I was hoping for a president who would look at us – Egyptians – as citizens regardless of our gender, religion, beliefs, or affiliations! I do not want the sympathy of a president; I want my rights as a citizen! I do not want my religion, or lack of it, to be a point on some checklist in a book called constitution!
Ahmed Shafik, a former minister of yours and your last prime minister was a candidate then he pulled out of the race when Omar Soliman, your chief bodyguard and last deputy, suddenly decided to run for presidency! Isn't this farcical? Who would have thought?! Amro Moussa, another former minister of yours also wants your chair, sir! You have created vicious power-thirsty monsters, sir! So I was telling you that Ahmed Shafik forfeited in favor of Soliman but Soliman was rejected overnight by court over a silly technicality! Moussa is still running!
Bothaina Kamel would have made a great president, don't you agree? Unfortunately Egypt is a sexist country where men and women equally hate women! I wish people looked at what she had to say and what she has to offer instead of looking down her shirt or up her skirt! I would give her my support over and again if I had too!
Khaled Ali is the "human rights" group candidate! He is a young lawyer who is addicted to human rights and justice! He sounds great but this is after all a popularity contest. When people vote, they give their support to a name they know as opposed to a name that knows them – are you following, sir? Another sudden turn in events made Khaled Ali defend Hazem Abu Ismail in court! Yes! One presidential candidate defending another in the name of justice and human rights! Life is wonderful!
There are other candidates who were ruled out by the court, there are many others who never managed to collect enough authorizations, and there are those who have been implanted amongst the finalists to give the elections a more democratic look.
Personally, I am not going to vote for anyone! It is such a waste of time and effort! I think of you a lot, old man! You handed the country over to the right people – people who would make sure that nothing ever changes! Looking at the performance of our revolutionary parliament, I am now certain that the only changes that this country will go through will be in the direction of more hypocrisy, more double standards, and more superficiality.
Yesterday I heard a rumor that you died peacefully in your sleep! Happy birthday anyway!