Ask Marwa: Dating a DJ and jealous

Date posted: July 10, 2013


Identity Magazine June

Published in Identity Magazine in June 2013

Dear Marwa,

 

I have been dating a DJ for 2 years now, and we are so in love. The problem is, he’s more than obsessed with music, and it’s driving him crazy! I just wish he felt that passionate about me so that I wouldn’t be that jealous. I really do enjoy his music, appreciate his talent, and always support him, but lately I’ve been feeling so neglected since music is all he talks and thinks about. Last week, I changed my Facebook profile picture to a cute picture of the both of us and added a caption saying how much I love him, while he changed his to a picture of Tiesto, his favourite DJ, and also added a caption saying he’s his favourite person alive! Shouldn’t I be his favourite person alive?

I’m really trying to support him as much as I can but he keeps making it harder. I even thought about leaving him for a while in hopes that he might realizes what I’m worth and that I’m also important to him, even more than his music. I clueless Marwa, Please help!

Sincerely,

Sarah.

Hello Sarah

Dating a man with a passion for something is an amazing experience! Just think of the sparkle in his eyes and the vivacity in his voice when he talks about music! I know that you want to come first and I understand that you get jealous of his musical icons but look at it this way; he would be totally unable to love you if that passion was stifled or killed. He is the man you are in love with because of this fire within.

You are not neglected! He talks about music with you! He shares his interests and findings with you! You are the first person he comes to with news or something to share! He is including you in all aspects of his life but in his own way. Do not let jealousy of "a passion" ruin your relationship. Just be happy that he is alive from within and throbbing with love on all fronts:)

As for the incident that you mentioned; why do you expect him to be you? Why is he supposed to copy your actions? Your Facebook page is yours and his page is his! You chose to put a picture of the two of you and he made a different choice. It is his right as an individual to express himself in "his space" as he wishes. I know his choice made you look bad in front of your common friends but your relationship is way more solid than that! You have been together for two years and you both are happy! Just stay happy and make sure you do not give in to negative advice!

Advice like leaving him till he realizes what he is missing and making him feel guilty and miserable for not being loving enough will only alienate him! He will feel that he is not man enough for you and will just back off! Please do not play those games! Love him as he is! Accept his flame and let him shine! My last word of advice to you is: Be happy! Yes! YOU! Be happy as a person and do not depend on him gratifying you in any way.

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