Ask Marwa: I am Jealous and Insecure!

Date posted: April 29, 2014


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Published in Identity Magazine – April 2014

 

I have been dating a guy for 2 years now, and we are so in love. The problem is, he is in a band and loves music while I’m not passionate about it. There is a girl in his band who seems to share his passion and interests and I’m afraid he would start liking her and leave me. I’m trying to get involved in what he loves but I just can’t seem to keep up. He never asked me to be interested in the same stuff or got upset because I’m not.

 

I’m really trying to support him as much as I can but it keeps getting harder every time I see him with the other girl. I am clueless as to what I should do Marwa, Please help!

 

Dear Girlfriend of a Rock Star!

 

Your worries and fears are not to be easily dismissed; you have every right to worry! Any girl who loves her man dreads the day he might leave her for someone prettier, younger, older, more interesting, more experienced, or more anything compared to her. In your case, this fear is not haphazard; there is an "other woman" in particular that is stirring your jealousy and causing your emotional upheaval. I would not ask you to simply hush-up your mind and wish you all the best! There is more!

 

You need to talk your fears out of your head using common sense; remind yourself that this girl has always been there yet it was you who won his heart and commitment for two years, that there were other girls who shared his passion much more than you ever did and still he chose to be with you, that people who share the same passion make for best friends more than lifetime partners, that you are not plain and boring, and that your boyfriend finds you interesting as you are and has never tried to "upgrade" you into a more devoted groupie.

 

If you do not manage to conquer your insecurities, you will certainly lose him to "her"! Dating an insecure woman is the worst thing that could happen to a man in a relationship; the last thing he needs is to babysit your fears until you outgrow them. If you become less of the girl you are now, he will start looking around for comfort, and we all know how the story of the man-looking-for-comfort goes; he falls for the comforter and dumps the miserable insecure girl he was with.

 

If you don't know why he chose you over her, eventually he will begin asking the same question! If you keep drawing his attention to her, eventually he will become interested in her! If you see that she is a better fit for him, eventually he will realize that she is the right one for him. Please have some faith in yourself and in your relationship before you lose your man.

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