Dear Marwa
The whole thing started when I know from a friend that she saw him in her company with a girl; for him she was a colleague and it was business but for me she was a girl that he went out with and didn't tell me. Why he didn't tell me? Why her (is it her look, character, style, or all of this)? What else happened behind my back? Where did I fall short? What did he tell her about me? What were the limits? Did they go out for fun, cafes and restaurants even with a group of people?
It hurts!
When I faced him, he didn't say much. He just said that he just went to a formal presentation with her once as per his supervisor's request. I am going crazy! If it was so, why didn't he tell me? Why did I have to look stupid? I tell him about my outside calls with colleagues!
Then at the same day, when he slept I took his cell phone and checked it. He deleted the calls but I found the log that saved what he did not want me to see. He used to call her every morning, during the day, and when I was not with him. The calls duration were long! I found out that my husband has a girl friend!
I faced him again and he told me that it's nothing to worry about, that she is his colleague and they are doing business together. I tried to forgive him! I could not forget! She resigned! He erased her number off of his mobile and deleted her from his facebook account but she left a great wound inside of me; my wounds are not yet healed! He claims that everything is ok … I claimed that everything is fine but I am lying to myself.
Am I losing him?
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This is so sad!
I do not want to jump to conclusions but I think that you are insecure in your relationship with him. It is normal for colleagues to go to meetings and presentations together … it is normal for them to talk and become friends … and you should have been part of this friendship … you should have welcomed her into your life … as the saying goes: keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
With your attitude and reaction, you created a gap between you and your husband. I could almost hear him talking to her, telling her how you are totally crazy … telling her that you turned his life into hell with doubt and suspicion … telling her that he is tired! This is how home-wreckers wreck homes – when the men complain they lend them their ears
Why are you so insecure? Why do you feel that he could leave you for another woman? Why do you feel that you are not good enough or pretty enough or strong enough to keep him in your life? You need to work on your self confidence or else YOU WILL LOSE HIM! You also need to stop the blame, the sad face, the doom and gloom mood, or you will drive him away.
Be strong … be confident … be sure of who you are … men love confident women. This has to reflect on your attitude … your confidence in yourself and in your relationship … your knowledge that you will be ok with or without him … your sense of inner peace and true faith in yourself … all of this has to show in your attitude … where is that confident secure sure-of-herself woman that you once were? Where is that woman who knows that she is really irreplaceable? He lied because he is a kid who is afraid of his neurotic mom! But he is no kid and you are a confident woman. Let it pass! If you show him that you are scared of him leaving you, he will leave! If you show him that you are jealous, he will use it to hurt you – unintentionally. Just let it pass and remember that he did not do you a favor by marrying you, he is not too good for you, and you cannot be easily replaced in his life.
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