The Beauty & The Geek

Date posted: September 1, 2007

If the producers of The Beauty and The Geek wanted to torture someone who thinks of herself as a beauty by having her date any of those plain geeks on the show, then I would have made an excellent candidate. I am quite certain that those girls do not care about the geeks; they are in it for the money or the fame. I am also positive that they do not continue to date them once the cameras are off. With a pat on the head and a kiss on the cheek they send them off with their goddess-like smiles. Bottom line, the geeks are nice but they are not dating material! I cannot date Winnie the Pooh!
On her show, Ricki Lake invited some girls who were “single by choice” and asked them about their physical requirements in a man. They all seemed to judge a book by its cover and have lost plenty of good guys to a fixation on physical attractiveness. Ricki told them that she had what they were looking for but the name of the game is a blindfolded date dare; the girls will go on a literally blind date! I admit that my eyes have always deceived me into choosing the jerk over the geek but what am I supposed to do? Keep the blindfold on to maintain the chemistry?

So what is it that attracts me to, or repels me from, a man? I tossed away the character nonsense, the vision and mission clich?s, and, by digging deeper into the layers of my Freudian heaven of a psyche, I narrowed it down to attractiveness! Yes! The attractiveness of a man is directly proportionate to my being attracted to him. Through extensive research Dallas Barabasz-Lynn has been able to discern the inner structure of attraction. The Ladder Theory claimed that 50% of a woman’s attraction to a man depends on physical attraction, 20% on competition, 20% on novelty, and 10% on other things. Power and money were categorized separately; the amount of money, and the degree of power, required to get a woman’s attention change according to her age. At the age of 16 a gift and a love note would have done the trick. As of the age of 25, a woman’s definition of the richest and the most powerful man changes with her exposure and demands.

In all my happy articles and sweet dreams I envisioned myself with the tall dark and handsome prince; the captivating gaze, the broad shoulders, the flawless smile, the husky voice, and hard in the right places – muscular that is. I have a soft spot for long soft hair, breath-freshener, clean laundry, and perfume. I also spot check nails and hands for cleanliness. Jerks who met these criteria made a doormat out of the little princess’s heart – yours truly!

Good guys who, in my eyes, had a weight or a shape issue were discarded immediately. Those who looked anything less than perfect were tormented to fit a mold that damaged me more than it hurt them. Those who were eager to please, I labeled as geeks, and those who accepted my inner or outer deformities, I crucified on the basis of their own scars and frailties.

The Ladder Theory pointed out how gals like me are attracted to competition; by competition, Lynn meant disinterest. The attractiveness of a man is by far stronger if he has other interests in life than making us happy. We are more tempted to pursue those who run away from us. “Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.” says Lynn.

What about novelty? Who wants an ordinary guy with a normal life and a normal job? – boring … yuckkkkkk! “Something different is more attractive. Like someone who does not have to work like most people because they have lots of money” says Lynn. I will add to that a few disorders that spice up the appeal of novelty: workaholic, alcoholic, manic depressive, obsessive compulsive, hypochondriac, malingerer, and chronic liar – yes, I have seen it all!

Moral of the story, if you are attractive, rich, powerful, novel, and show no interest in her, she is almost guaranteed to want to get intimate with you. Bonus points for destroying her self esteem, flirting with her friends, cheating on her, and being always late, forgetful, noncommittal, manipulative, and controlling – Isn’t this the definition of the Alfa male? Isn’t that the man who had the lion’s share of my verbal, visual, and written curses?

“So Beauty, why complain now of being painfully single, when you detest the jerks you have created and reject the geeks you have attracted?” – asked the voice of reason that I so often silence!

Bookmark and Share