I am 25 years old girl. graduated almost 4 years ago from Engineering school. Preparing my Master’s. I have one brother. My problem is that I have never been loved by someone and moreover, I do not think that I have ever loved anyone really. Just crushes (u know) and I just simply get over whatever this thing is (it is not love I know). Once I meet someone, I tend to Analise why I like that person and whether it would work out , I become curious to know more info about that person, knowing exactly what I like and WHY I like it and then that is it (OVER).
I do not know how it feels to love someone. How am I supposed to know it? and please do not tell me you will know it because I honestly can not understand how and why people love each other. The most recent case, is a a very nice person. I was not exactly interested in him when I first saw him but then I heard him talking about a serious issue! and I thought like..hmmm that is interesting.
He is very polite and intelligent. We did not actually talk together and now he traveled but I added him to my facebook. I do not know why I check his profile every day and when I see his profile picture i think of one sentence (I miss you!)
I can not understand, is it the same as the previous guys? and it would be just a period of time to fill that emotional hall in my life and I will just move on? is it different? am I obsessive by having a relationship in my life and that is why I have these cycles of knowing, analyzing and moving on?
Thank you so much for your help. I forgot to tell you that I do not have a very strong relationship with my father, he is nice and i love him but he does not know how to communicate with me and he is too old to be told how. I do not think I am Beautiful, I look OK, but u know…any ways, thanks again