PUBLISHED IN CAMPUS MAGAZINE SEPTEMBER 2010
Dear psychology majors,
Dear psychology minors,
Dear people with common sense,
Please look at these pictures and tell me what do you think of their creators? What do they reveal about the psyche of the men who designed them? What do they say about the girls who believe them?
Here are my two cents based on nothing but my own analytical skills and common sense:
Women are like lollipops, the covered ones attract only one fly (one man) but the uncovered ones attract a lot of flies (many men).
The person who came up with this idea hates men and women equally; men are dirty ugly stupid disgusting flies and women are tempting yummy sticky lollipops. One is an insect and the other is an edible object.
I can even be cruel enough to say that the genius behind that poster has some sort of an unresolved oral fixation – A child who is not fed enough (neglected) or is fed too much (over-protected) may become orally fixated as an adult. It is believed that fixation in the oral stage may have one of two effects. If the child was underfed or neglected, he/she may become orally dependent and obsessed with achieving the oral stimulation of which he was deprived, learning to manipulate others to fulfill his needs rather than maturing to independence.
Calling to mind the Fatwa of erotic lactation; it is legitimate for a working Muslim woman to breast-feed her male colleague to avoid the sin of ‘khulwa’ (staying with a stranger in one room).
Lipstick is dynamite in disguise!! Awesome! 22 evil women buy 22 lipsticks per second! I can hear the drums of World war three! Women who wear lipstick lead to the downfall of great nations! Lipstick should be a weapon of mass destruction! How ingenious!!!
This is either a woman with no lips, ultra thin lips, or Nip Tuck’s “pussy lips”! Or it could be a man who has a severe case of lipstick envy! As a little boy he loved playing with mommy’s lipstick, he was caught, abused a la Norman Bates, grew to believe that women except his mama are evil whores, and that lipstick is for those villainous seductive bitches!
He grew up and decided to promote morality via banning lipstick!
Men are like shoes; used and abused by those radical feminists! Those feminists who have the audacity to wear stilettos … red stilettos! Those doomed feminists who have enough confidence to allow their footsteps to make noise … how dare they announce their presence? Leave footprints or marks of any sort? Feminism is for loose women! Yes my little ones! Feminists and their stilettos should drop off the face of the earth even if we have to saw them into oblivion!
I could only think of that little boy of seven green years stepping into his mother’s heels only to trip and fall! No matter how hard he tried to maintain his balance, no matter how old and big he grew, he still fell on his face every time he set foot in his mother’s shoes! I can see his eyes fixated on his mother as she walked back and forth wearing those dreaded shoes!
“How can she maintain her balance? How can she make it look so easy? I hate her! I hate those shoes! I hate women who can wear stilettos! One day I will grow up and ban stilettos!” He said
He grew up and he created that piece of art today!
“The eyes are the windows to the soul”
Tsk tsk tsk (cross that out)
“No! I do not care about your soul! I do not want to see you or what lies in your heart! I only want your body! And guess what? I do not want you to look at me! I do not want you to look into me! I do not want you to see through my masculine façade! I do not want you to discover my deeply rooted insecurities! I fear you! I fear your eyes! I fear your penetrating gaze! Where can I hide?” asked the sick guy behind the computer as he plucked his eyebrows in awe.
[thinking very hard]
“Found it! I do not need to hide” said the scared big guy with a wicked grin!
“I will make YOU hide! I will make YOU vanish! I will make YOU hide your eyes in the name of piety and morality!”
The Eyes [of a woman] are the Traps of the Devil!
Bwahahaaaaaaa – his laughter filled the room!
A chair with three legs is weak! A chair with three legs is bound to fall! No one would want to sit on a chair with three legs! A chair with three legs is ugly! A chair with three legs is deformed! A chair with three legs has to be fixed!
You can be a chair with four legs or you can be a chair with three legs!
Vagina envy or womb envy is the unexpressed anxiety felt by men, naturally envying pregnancy, nursing, and motherhood — of woman’s primary role in creating and sustaining life — that leads them to dominate women and drive themselves to succeed in order for their names to live on
So those men who have turned women into chairs and lollipops are after all envious little creeps!
They envy a woman’s ability to get pregnant, give birth, breast feed, and give life! They know they cannot do it! They know that women can go get a frozen sperm and get pregnant on their own, they have seen The Virgin Mary get pregnant without a man, and they flipped! They got worried that they will become obsolete and that no one would want to be with them.
They deviously decided to create a fake list of the things that women cannot do and they began axing away women’s self-esteem, confidence, and godliness! They envied us, dominated us into submission, and today we are being told flat out that we are chairs!
HAT TIP: MONA ELTAHAWY (I GOT THE LINK TO THE POSTERS FROM HER FACEBOOK PAGE)