To Risk or not to Risk – That is the Question!

This article was published in Identity Magazine in January 2014

To Risk or not to Risk – That is the Question!

The dictionary definition of "risk" as a noun is "a situation involving exposure to danger" and as a verb is "expose (someone or something valued) to danger, harm, or loss."

In relationships the "danger, harm, and loss" carries the negative connotations of pain and misery, wounds and scars, and immediate family drama and personal trauma. I have always been an advocate of accountability and of people being fully responsible for their choices. I have also written many times about "the price tag" that comes along with happiness!

Everything has a price! Freedom has a price! Experience has a price! Innocence has a price! Knowledge has a price! Ignorance had a price! Risk has a price! Safety and shelter have a price! Conforming to the norms has a price! Rebelling against the givens has a price! Following your dreams has a price! Abandoning your dreams has a price! Taking a right turn has a price! Taking a left turn has a price! Standing still has a price! “Yes” has a price! “No” has a price! You just have to decide what price you can afford to pay for the life you want to lead.

You have to decide if you really care about your dreams enough to pursue them; if you truly care about your talent enough not to waste it; if you sincerely care about your life enough not to throw it away!

Then you have to know that with choices comes power, with power comes responsibility, with responsibility comes accountability, with accountability comes experience, with experience comes maturity, and with maturity comes evolution – and I guess that this is the whole purpose of being alive!

Human beings are not perfect! We all have flaws and personal baggage! This is why when it comes to love, dating, or marriage there is always a risk – the risk of being with the wrong partner! Most of the time the flaws are clear; it is clear that your partner is a cheater, a player, cheap and miserly, old and worn out, young and reckless, selfish and peacock-ish, poor and struggling, lazy and careless, irresponsible and dependent, or detached and cold. Risks are taken when the need overwhelms reasoning and the pressure of that need leads you to ignore the flaws.

Self-delusion is the result of a need to be loved, accepted, married, or becoming a parent. Society, age, and religion add to the intensity of those needs until you decide to settle! Settling down is not the same thing as settling; "settling down" means finding that one person that will end the search and hunt for a partner while "settling" means compromising and giving in to pressure – internal and external pressure.

A calculated risk is what this feature is about! Get married to the player knowing that this is who he is and that it will not change! Date the cheap guy if it does not disgust you! Get involved with the older man if you are aware of the price! Risks are inseparable of living – you live; you take risks! Make sure your risks are calculated, your eyes are wide open, and that you are not delusional about how people could change and how love works miracles!