Ask Marwa: A Hole in My Wedding Gown

Date posted: June 1, 2010


Dear Marwa,
I need serious advice here. It all started with a hole in my wedding gown. Let me start from the beginning. I have been dating the greatest man on earth for the past three years and we are planning to get married soon. I began having a recurrent dream that turned my life into hell; I am on my wedding day and everyone is congratulating me, then suddenly all the eyes turn to a big hole in my wedding dress; I wake up every night breathless and horrified. After a lot of digging and soul searching, the hole in my wedding dress turned out to be my mother in law. She does not spare an effort to insult me or to make me feel unwelcome, but in his presence, she is a darling angel. To tell him or not to tell him – that is the question!

Do

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Dear Do,

Most mothers are very protective of their sons; they feel that an unworthy stranger will come and reap what they have planted and watered for years. If you tell him, you will lose him, and her. So your best bet would be to beat her at her own game. On the one hand, she needs to know that you genuinely love her son and, on the other, she needs to know that you will not make her obsolete. Find way to relay to her that her role is not over. Get her involved in the areas that do not carry that much weight for you. Treat her the way you would flatter a boss who has the power to hire and fire … the hire and fire part here is literal!

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