ASK MARWA: Not All People Are Marriage Material

Date posted: March 1, 2012


Published in Identity Magazine


Dear Marwa,

I am a man in my late 20s. My life can be easily be defined as a series of bad relationships; I have this ability to always go for the worst possible option, lately though I’m in this stable relationship with a person who respects and loves me. However, and for some reason, I feel bored and miss the hunt. I want to go back to being hunted and the rush of that first kiss and those first days of every –eventually doomed – relationship. Perhaps I’m addicted to drama or maybe I miss the excitement either way I have this pressing urge inside to jump out of this relationship. Is there a way for me to stay with the person I’m with while maintaining the freshness and excitement of short-term relationships?

Dear Man

In my response to your problem, I will walk you down two different paths and you will have to search for the truth within you.

Path #1 Not all people are marriage material!

Yes! Some people were not created to fit the mold of a stable marital life! Some people – men and women – were created to be single forever! The traditional image of husband-wife-kids is not what those people want.

Those men resent the idea of marriage, partnership, being responsible for other human beings, and the duties shouldered by the head of the family.

The women also resent the image of the dedicated wife and subservient female that accompanies the marriage contract.

Maybe you are one of those people … maybe marriage and family is not your cup of tea!

If that is the case, then I advise you to be honest with the women you approach and do not invest in a relationship beyond your means!

Path #2 Wait for the urge!

Wait for the urge to settle down and start a family hits you. That urge will be so powerful that no matter how hard you hang on to your independence, you will be swept into a committed relationship.

You will crave having kids, having a woman to go home to, sharing your day to day events with that woman, and you will no longer miss hunting.

I also have to be honest with you … married men also miss that rush you talked about. Some of them would go on wild hunts just to flex their muscles and others exercise self control and focus on their families.

The ones who hunt when they are married are labeled as cheaters and their marriages are always at risk.

A good question to ask yourself is: Why do you want to get married? Start there and good luck.


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