Ask Marwa: How to build your inner sense of security?

Date posted: May 15, 2009

Hello Marwa

I need you to help me with an issue; it is not a man and women thing. My problem is that I never felt that I am attached to anything or anyone. I think that because we as a family changed our location many times and in many countries, and I have changed many schools and many friends as well. I feel that my life is divided into fragments. I fear losing the people I love … the question is how to build my inner sense of security. I am 23, or is it too late? I just want to feel normal.

Dear O

Let me start by telling you that the word "normal" does not exist in real life … we are all unique in our different ways … how would you define a normal person? How would you define a normal life? There is no such thing … we are brought into this world to take different paths … to become different people … to have different experiences … normal = stereotype … and stereotypes are dull caricatures.

Attachment? Some people crave it while others hate it … why would you want to be attached to anything or to anyone … maybe this is your gift … maybe this is what makes you special … you are like a free spirit … nothing could tie you down.

Security comes from within not from getting attached to people or things … your number one loyalty is towards yourself … you are the same person wherever you go and you have to mind your best interest. Fear of loss is another story … people lose what they cannot control … but if you understand that you can only control yourself then you will understand that you can never lose who you are … imagine your life as a circle and you are the center … no matter what happens you will always be the center that keeps the circle in shape.

You have had the blessing of being exposed to different people, places, and cultures … you have the brains to decipher what to accept and what to reject. The fragments in your life are like the pieces of a complete puzzle … it is much better than being narrow minded and shallow

You just need to know what to do with all of that … those things are what make you a different person … why do you want to give them away and become and ordinary dependent person who is imprisoned in her surroundings? The age of 21 – 28 is the phase where a person gets to establish themselves … you find out what you want to do with your life … your passion … your voice … in other words … why were you created … you were given a package of qualities … pros and cons … how will you make use of them to develop, grow, and help others? Do not waste time trying to become like others … invest in the qualities that you have and find a way to make the best out of them. People like you have great potential because they do not belong in a certain home, country, job, or company … they do not belong with a certain person … I suggest you find a cause … and get use your freedom to support it … just think of why were you created like that and how can you make use of it?

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