CAMPUS MAGAZINE: Guilty as Charged

Date posted: February 1, 2010



Male A

Male B

1. Added me on Facebook

2. Complete stranger

3. Poked me at 8pm

(I looked at his profile again – very handsome dude)

4. Poked him back (as I smiled hoping that he would discover my inbox)

5. Sent me a message at 9pm

6. Opened the message at 9pm and 2 seconds

7. Good English

(Decent guy … knows who I am)

8. I responded with a friendly tone

(I was clearly encouraging him)

9. Back and forth communication: I was friendly, warm, decent, encouraging … green light! I put him at ease!

10. Because of my cooperation, we are still talking and our communication is still flowing both ways. He is smart, funny, handsome, and grown up – I Like!

1. Added me on Facebook

2. Complete stranger

3. Poked me at 8pm

(I looked at his profile again – bald tire around his waist dude)

4. Poked him back out of courtesy (trying to deny my shallowness)

5. Sent me a message at 9pm

6. Opened the message after responding to Male A

7. Good English

(Invasive guy … knows who I am)

8. I responded with a formal one liner

(I clearly wanted him to go away)

9. Back and forth communication: I enjoyed seeing him perspire in front of his screen trying to find words to get my attention.

10. Because of my abrupt messages and vague responses the guy called me sweetheart in the second message and got whipped for it, sent me his number in his last attempt to reach out to me … and now he is deleted and blocked.

Moral of the story (Guys)

1) Guys … please take care of your bodies! The way you treat your body says a lot about you! The way you carry yourself says even more! It is all a matter of styling and maintenance!

2) Desperate, aggressive, invasive, confused, clumsy … not attractive!

3) If a girl is giving you a hard time … walk away from the conversation … it will just go from bad to worse.

4) If the conversation feels bad … then it IS bad!

5) If you are not smiling … then it is REALLY bad!

6) If the girl does not ask questions of any kind then she is not interested.

7) Never throw out your number like Male B … you are only asking for trouble.

8) Before talking to a stranger … have a quick look at their profile, groups, interests, shared links, and notes … effort is always appreciated!

9) If you are not confident enough with your interpersonal skills, start the conversation on a discussion board or a shared note instead of the dead silence of the inbox.

10) Life is not fair … pretty boys have it easy!

Moral of the story (Girls)

11) All that glitters is not gold!

12) Do not leave any traces on his wall until it is official!

13) Do not try to make it official … it becomes official only when it feels right for both of you … it has nothing to do with time or how long you've known one another.

14) It is called online chemistry! It is NOT attraction! It is NOT a crush! And it is NOT love!

15) People lie, cheat, and say things that they do not mean online – just be careful

16) Do not expect, or demand, exclusivity – this is plain stupid!

17) If you cannot handle a player … walk away before you get hurt.

18) If you have a history of throwing your heart under a guy's feet … you are at risk of becoming this dude's doormat!

19) If you are the jealous/ possessive type … this is not your cup of tea.

20) If you are insecure or have self esteem issues … do not try this at home!


1) Am I encouraging people to date on facebook? No … but if you are good at screening people, you might end up with a bunch of good friends!

2) Am I aiming a below the belt blow at your average Joe? No … but a desperate unmaintained guy with an outdated sense of humor is really unappealing!

3) Am I marking my territory? PossiblyJ I just eliminated half of the female population (the ones who cannot handle a player, the desperate ones, the jealous and possessive ones, and the insecure ones – who's left?)

4) Am I serious? No! Not yet! I am a player myself and I am enjoying the thrill! The chase is better than the catch and the journey is more valuable than the destination!

5) Am I still trapped in my shallow Disney bubble waiting for my tall dark handsome prince? Am I still hooked up on looks? Yes! Guilty As Charged!

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