ASK MARWA: MAN IN LOVE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND

Published in Identity Magazine – April 2015

My bestfriend for 6 years is the love of my life. I opened the subject, indirectly, of us being together and she ignored it. Since then, I never tried to talk about it again because I’m too scared of losing her. She’s been giving me signals before and after I brought it up. She’s really cute and cares about me. What shall I do?

Dear Confused Man

Please do not talk about this again with your best friend and let me tell you why not. Every woman has eyes at the back of her head and advanced sensory devices that she was born with. Such luxuries allow her to unmistakably know when a man likes her more than a friend. She can sense the long gaze even when she is not looking. She can pick up the vibes and literally read your mind. She could know if you are thinking of a family and kids, endless romantic dates, or just sex.

Your friend knows exactly how you feel and she chose not to clearly respond to your advances. This could be interpreted in a variety of ways:

1. She likes you but she does not love you
2. She is waiting for someone better to come along and you are on standby just in case that someone does not come
3. She likes you as a person but is not physically attracted to you
4. She is simply a tease; she enjoys making men fall for her for no obvious reason other than self-entertainment
5. She could love you but now she is busy doing something else
6. She wants to keep you as a friend who loves her more than a friend

Because of all those possibilities, you need to relax and enjoy the friendship until she openly shares her feelings, or totally back off if the friendship is causing you pain and unpleasant feelings.

If you choose to be a friend, be prepared to listen to a newly found love or stories of heartache over another man. If you choose to back off, please do not rush into any relationship to ease the pain you will go through. Rebounds happen but one should try to prevent them for karma’s sake – what goes around comes around and if you break someone’s heart, someone else will break yours.

I would also advise you to refrain from trying to make her feel jealous by pretending that you like someone else because she will know that you are faking this whole scenario. Try not to guilt her into dating you because relationships built on guilt or pity do not last and have a very unpleasant aftertaste. My last piece of advice would be to be true to yourself and to listen to your heart; do not torture yourself with whatever choice you make.