Ask Marwa: How to Cope with being Single on New Year’s Eve!

Published in Identity Magazine in December 2016

Dear Marwa

I am single, and the holidays are a particular time of the year where the blues of being single hit full force. I’ve been single for over a year and I’m getting used to it. But New Years is a tough time for me because it’s a holiday that you build a lot of expectations for. It’s the beginning of new things, and starting it out on a bad note can set the course for your whole year! To make matters worse, I met my ex-boyfriend on that particular holiday, so I have a lot of memories attached to it. My friends tell me that maybe I should go out on a date on New Years. But to me that’s almost like going on a date on Valentine’s! The pressure’s too high for me to take that kind of plunge, and I’m not sure that it’s the best option.  I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don’t know what the best option for me is. I just want to have a memorable end to this year and set the course for a truly awesome new one. What do you recommend for the desperately single?

Sincerely,

Stuck on New Years

Dear Stuck on New Years

Your letter took me fifteen years down memory lane; to a time when we, girls, used to do anything to avoid showing up single at NYE’s party. Some of us would start hunting a month before the big day while others would open up the “friend zone closet” and pick out a man to use only on that special occasion. There were girls who would go online on a dating site and choose the most eligible candidate to party with, and there were those who would make temporary peace with their last ex, or one of the exes, just for this one night. I have also known girls who would plan a trip outside the country for a couple of days at the end of December just to avoid the scene and be scene Egyptian society. There were those who would take a leap of faith, dress up all gorgeous, and hop from one party to another hoping they would meet The One on that special night.

The only common thing between all those girls was anxiety – that lurking fear of being single, staying single, showing up single and being jinxed forever by being single on NYE. I am now coming from the future and telling you that none of this matters and that none of it is true! I am telling you that faking a relationship is not a relationship, faking love is not true love, faking happiness does not make you happy, faking companionship does not make your sense of loneliness vanish, and faking hope does not bring miracles into your life. I can also tell you that being single for a while does not make you single forever and that being single on NYE will not put the single curse on you for the rest of the year.

My first advice to you is to be thankful that you are not with a man who would flirt with your friends on NYE, a man who would cheat on you on NYE, a man who would make you feel like a burden on NYE, a man who would tell you that he does not love you on NYE, a man who would tell you that he does not see a future with you on NYE, a man who would tell you that he is leaving you on NYE, a man who would switch his phone off and vanish on NYE, a man who would plan a trip with his friends and leave you out on NYE, a man who would make you feel lonely, alone, and incomplete on NYE. Be thankful that you are not stuck in a loveless marriage and you have to celebrate NYE for the rest of your life with a man you loathe. Just be thankful!

My second advice is to party! Throw your own party and call it the Single on NYE Bash! No couples allowed! Only single men and women are allowed! Choose a great DJ, play great “Thank God I am Single” songs, include raffle prizes, tombola, and gifts for every one! Dress up, look stunning, feel confident, and own the sincerest celebration in town that night! If you cannot throw a big scale party, make it a cozy celebration and have fun. This advice is all about attitude! There is no rule that forbids singles from enjoying their lives on any given day of the year. Choose to be happy and work on it!

My third advice to you is to count your blessings! Count your current blessings and celebrate them – even the tiniest of them all. Write down your resolutions and remind yourself to be true to yourself, to be independent, to be content, to have hope, to learn from your mistakes, and to have no regrets. Promise yourself love, respect, and development. Here is a salute from me to you and to all the single people out there! Cheers!